There is a Xhosa idiom that says “bagotywa bebatsha”, teach them while they are still young, and they will never go wrong. In Gqeberha, a growing movement of fathers is bringing this wisdom to life, reshaping what positive fatherhood looks like through early learning and literacy.
A group of men in the Eastern Cape are challenging long-held assumptions about parenting by taking an active role in their children’s reading and emotional development. Through the Men’s Literacy Imbizo, they are stepping into spaces where men have historically been absent — during story time, reading circles, early childhood learning and emotional conversations.
For Siyabulela Jonas, reading to his children once meant bedtime stories or helping with homework “when time allowed.” Today, it has become a shared daily ritual, one that opens conversations about feelings, ideas and the world beyond textbooks.
“My participation in their schoolwork used to be inconsistent, and I often left the heavy lifting to my partner,” he said. “The programme has given us a structured reading hour every day.” Jonas, who runs an NPO focused on skills development, said the shift has deepened his bond with his two sons.
A fatherhood journey shaped by responsibility and resilience
Another father, Masixole Simakuhle, said his journey into hands-on fatherhood began long before he had children of his own. Growing up, he helped his late mother care for young children at the local crèche where she worked. Later he served as a learning partner at Shine Literacy and as a literacy ambassador with the Centre for Social Development, collaborating with Nal’ibali to promote reading for enjoyment.
But in 2021, his life changed overnight when his sister became gravely ill.
“Although I’d always been present in their lives, stepping into full parental responsibility was different,” he said. “Suddenly I had to manage everything, clinic visits, school matters, emotional support, while keeping them positive as their mother fought for her life.”
It was during this difficult period that he was invited to join the Nal’ibali Men’s Literacy Imbizo, an opportunity he grabbed with both hands.
Why men matter in literacy spaces
Nal’ibali, a national, literacy development organisation, launched the Men’s Literacy Imbizo after noticing stark gaps in father participation in early learning.
Madoda Ndlakuse, Nal’ibali’s community development coordinator, said the programme began in 2022 in KwaNobuhle, Kariega, and today has about 120 active fathers.
“Research shows that when fathers read, play and learn with their children, the children do better socially, emotionally and academically,” he said. “Yet men are still largely absent from ECD centres, reading clubs and literacy workshops. These spaces are dominated by women, and many men feel either intimidated or unwelcome.”
When fathers get involved, children’s learning and emotional development strengthen at the same time.
— Madoda Ndlakuse, Nal’ibali community development coordinator
The imbizo, he said, was designed to create a space where men can grow, reflect, learn new skills and reconnect with their role in raising healthier, more confident families.
This comes against the backdrop of a national literacy crisis:
- The 2030 Reading Panel reports that nearly 80% of Grade 3 pupils cannot read for meaning in any language.
- A 2023 department of basic education and Unicef study found that 43% of South African households have no books.
‘No problem is permanent’: Literacy as emotional healing
Simakuhle said the imbizo gave him practical tools he could use at home.
“One of the most powerful tools was the framework of five story elements, characters, setting, plot, problem, solution,” he said. “It helped my niece see that no problem is permanent, and every challenge has a solution.”
Storytelling, he added, has become a safe space where she can process emotions, express fears and explore possible solutions, all while bonding with him in deeper, more meaningful ways.
“I’ve learned that showing up, listening, reading, affirming and engaging plays a huge role in shaping a child’s emotional world. Fatherhood for me now goes beyond the traditional definition, it’s an intentional, nurturing role.”
Jonas echoed this, saying fatherhood has become an “active emotional partnership.”
“Listening to my children’s stories and validating their feelings has become as important as providing for them,” he said.
Changing families, changing communities
Ndlakuse said issues like violence, substance abuse, school dropout and gender inequality can shift when men take responsibility for guiding families and modelling healthy behaviour.
“When men start reading with children, supporting ECD centres, joining school activities or community literacy projects, the responsibility for developing children becomes shared,” he said. “Children also start seeing reading as a family activity, not just something for women.”
He added that many children in the programme have shown improved reading abilities, with some becoming published young writers who use storytelling to process fear, loss and change.
“The imbizo has helped children heal emotionally and build confidence in telling their stories, especially in their home languages,” he said.
Starting small, changing big
Both fathers encouraged others to join.
“Set aside just 10–15 minutes a day to read with your child,” said Simakuhle. “Fatherhood is a journey. Taking that first step, no matter how unsure, can change a child’s life.”
Jonas emphasised that no father needs to be perfect. “The programme gives you the tools and the support. You just need to show up,” he said.
Ndlakuse said the evidence is clear: “When fathers get involved, children’s learning and emotional development strengthen at the same time.”
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