The heart-wrenching death by suicide of an eight-year-old girl in Mthatha serves as a devastating wake-up call: bullying is not a childhood rite of passage, but a lethal crisis that is claiming our children’s lives.
Sisipho Ntamehlo, the mother of Imibongo Ntamehlo, of Gxulu Junior Secondary Secondary in Libode, said her daughter was ridiculed, mocked and beaten up by her schoolmates for a long time before taking her own life.
Sisipho told the Daily Dispatch that other schoolchildren made her daughter’s life a living hell. “She was isolated for carrying R2 at school while others had R10. We are struggling because I’m unemployed,” she said.
The cruelty did not stop at the classroom premises. “On their way to and from school she was also bullied. While on the transport to and from school, other pupils would beat her up and force her to create space for them.
“I would go and confront those bullies and warned them to refrain from bullying my child because she wants education just like them. They would beat her up for things that didn’t make sense.”
A fellow pupil once grabbed her bread and threw it on the ground, then put a foot on it. Sisipho brought the matter to the attention of the child’s parent. “The parent apologised and I understood because it’s not something the parent would have liked the child to do.”
The latest incident illustrates that bullying is rarely a single isolated event. It is a persistent erosion of a child’s dignity.
The child had done what many teachers encourage: she spoke up. Imibongo told her mother about the abuse. Her mother raised the issue with the parent of the offending child, but that apology, however sincere, could not undo the harm already inflicted.
The tragedy in Mthatha highlights a troubling truth; that bullying often unfolds quietly, in ways that adults do not immediately see.
It may not always appear as overt violence. Sometimes it takes the form of humiliation, intimidation, exclusion or repeated small acts of cruelty that gradually erode a child’s sense of safety and belonging.
However, South Africa has seen more visible examples as well.
In October last year, a disturbing video circulated showing a group of boys from Milnerton High School in the Western Cape assaulting another pupil on school premises.
The incident sparked widespread outrage, but it also illustrated how many bullying cases only receive attention when violence is captured on camera.
Bullying thrives in environments where it is treated as a normal part of growing up. It also thrives in environments where bullies feel they can get away with it.
Six of the boys were expelled from school after a disciplinary hearing and a criminal case was opened against eight of the boys. Six adult alleged offenders appeared in the Cape Town magistrate’s court last week to face various counts of assault with intent to do grievous bodily harm. The two minor alleged offenders’ cases are being handled by the juvenile court.
While the brutal physical assault caught on camera has led to instant action, the “invisible” bullying as seen in the Mthatha case, is often harder to detect but equally lethal.
Bullying thrives in environments where it is treated as a normal part of growing up. It also thrives in environments where bullies feel they can get away with it.
When schools and transport systems lack active oversight, the most vulnerable children are left to fend for themselves.
To prevent the next tragedy, schools must be environments where children feel safe and protected. This means bullying complaints must be taken seriously and clear disciplinary action must be applied to those who engage in such crude behaviour.
Schools should also adopt awareness programmes that teach children from a young age that bullying is not acceptable. These programmes must teach empathy, respect and consequences of cruelty.
Teachers and school support staff should also receive training to identify the subtle signs of bullying, especially those that do not involve physical violence.
The school’s responsibility should not end when the child leaves the school premises.
Transport operators must be trained and held responsible for behaviour when they transport children.
Parents also have a duty to speak openly to their children about bullying and its impact, not only about reporting bullying but that their children do not inflict harm on others.
This death should push schools, parents and authorities to act with urgency and determination.
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