The man who would be Bond
Judging by a few interviews the so-called North West businessman Brown Mogotsi has given, he’d like the country to believe he is its own version of James Bond.
He told a TV reporter, for instance, that he was involved in the nabbing of the local version of Bonny & Clyde — Nandipha Magudumana and Thabo Bester — who were caught in Tanzania.
But police chiefs Lt-Gen Nhlanhla Mkhwanazi and Lt-Gen Dumisani Khumalo — who would know these things — say the man is not registered with any of the country’s law enforcement and intelligence agencies.
Now even the ANC, the political party the man has been openly associating with since at least 2017, when he was a campaigner for Cupcake’s presidential bid, says he is not a member.
If the man is really a spy of some sort, he must be really deep undercover, so deep that not even those he serves appear to know who he is.
A true crime swindling doccie
Alternatively, the man is just an ordinary swindler who has developed the art of parting dubious businesspeople like Vusimuzi “Cat” Matlala from their cash by dangling before them his close associations, or are they comradeships, with the high and mighty in government?
Hogarth couldn’t help but feel like he was watching a new episode of The Tinder Swindler, or any of those true crime swindling documentaries Netflix likes to stream now and again, as he read the texts shared between Mogotsi and Matlala. Every other text from Mogotsi was either asking for money or looking for an update of when the money would be received.
Hogarth can only imagine how many other dubious characters he went to, boasting of his access to police minister Senzo Mchunu.
For that alone, and for the fact that Mchunu allowed all of this to happen, the minister should have long followed his old comrade Nhlanhla Nene and fallen off his chair instead of waiting for Cupcake to fire him once he receives the interim report from the Madlanga commission.
Budget blowoff for bowties man
Speaking of Madlanga, Hogarth was starting to enjoy the advocate with purple bowties and colourful suits, Terry Motau, when he abruptly announced that he was leaving the commission just weeks after it started.
The “learned friend” cited concerns about how the commission’s R147m budget was going to be allocated as his reason for his withdrawal. In a country where we have become accustomed to those holding office overspending without fear of consequences, Hogarth understands why so many refuse to believe there are still people who quit purely on the basis of principle.
Half the room half asleep
On the subject of overspenders, Cogta minister Velenkosini Hlabisa hosted a local government indaba in Midrand on Thursday. Gathered there were mayors, municipal managers, council speakers and the like — all armed with the relevant jargon.
Hogarth’s moles at the event were, therefore, not shocked to notice half the room was half asleep by the middle of the programme, while at least four delegates eased the boredom by playing Candy Crush. Putting a damper on the whole affair was an unexplained no-show by the host, Johannesburg mayor Dada Morero.
Maybe he has already resigned himself to the fact that Helen Zille is the mayor-in-waiting.
Praising fish for swimming
During her address at the sleepy indaba, auditor-general Tsakane Maluleke lamented the fact that only 13% of the more than 250 municipalities had achieved clean audits in the last financial year.
That should have been enough to cause the local government chiefs to bury their heads in shame and leave the gathering quietly at the earliest convenience. But, no. They stayed on for the gala dinner, where awards were dished out to the 13% who obtained clean audits and those who spent 100% of their infrastructure grants from the National Treasury. Talk about praising the fish for swimming!
To crown it all, some of those present were complaining throughout the night that the organisers of the gala dinner failed to provide alcohol.
Highest level of trust
It appears there are many politicians who are perfect candidates for a crash course in simplicity when addressing fellow citizens. One is deputy minister of international relations and co-operation, Alvin Botes. When paying tribute to our late ambassador to France, he was heard on the radio saying Mthethwa’s appointment to high office showed the high level of trust the president deposited “in the persona” of Mthethwa. Yes, simply put, the president trusted the ambassador. No need for embroidery.
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