TSHIAMO MODISANE | Womanhood is a constant battle between the self and society

What does it mean to be a woman in contemporary South Africa?

Aah ... Will it ever end? Honestly, it’s a constant battle between the self and society. You are either too soft to face the demands of the country or too hard to fully give yourself to the people dear to you. I would like to believe I am a girl’s girl who will always root for her sisters. However, if truth be told, most of my hurtful break-ups have been the result of a lack of reciprocity on the part of other women. What I do enjoy, though, are those golden moments when I look into a mirror and catch a glimpse of another beautiful woman who is just as in awe of my beauty as I am of hers. With the growing number of social media platforms out there, I have seen more and more young women seeking positive, aspirational role models and mentors who are both breaking new ground and unapologetically embracing their femininity. However, you can’t speak about the joys of being a woman in contemporary South Africa without mentioning the fear aroused by the seemingly endless brutal killings of women and children. Ensuring my safety wherever I am is of the utmost importance to me. Every woman should have a group of friends (both men and women) who check in with her whenever she leaves the house to meet someone.

Which book(s) by a South African woman writer made the biggest contribution(s) to your literary work?

I found The Way I See It: The Musings of a Black Woman in the Rainbow Nation by Lerato Tshabalala so compelling it made me reach out to her and ask about how I could begin writing a book and sharing my own story. I believe my memoir will be the catalyst for more books delving into such topics as gender identity, sexuality, trauma and religion.

Margaret Atwood wrote, “A word after a word after a word is power.” How do you reclaim your power as a woman writer in South Africa?

Through wisdom and knowing when and to whom to speak. Words are weapons that possess so much power and energy, and this is evident in the context in which they are spoken. We live in a world where opinions are often mistaken for facts, and sometimes understanding that not everyone is going to agree with what you say can be a difficult pill to swallow. However, if someone disagrees with you, it doesn’t mean that individual is less than you, or that you need to impose your belief on that person. True power comes when you understand the weapons in your arsenal (your vocabulary) and the potential damage they can cause, as well as the great healing they can bring.