I once drove a Ferrari around the racetrack at Zwartkops.
Let me rephrase that: I once inched at snail’s pace in a Ferrari around the racetrack at Zwartkops.
It was a joke. And there is sadly some evidence of this low point in the history of fast cars, by way of a very amusingly edited video that lives on somewhere in the internet.
Doing the racing deed yourself is, I hate to report, an entirely different proposition from watching the high jinks and Machiavellian politics of Formula One on Netflix.
So I feel suitable levels of respect and awe for the skill set Fabienne Lanz has when I meet her for lunch at her choice: Olives and Plates in Exclusive Books in Hyde Park, Johannesburg.
The place is pumping, not a table free, on a recent Tuesday when we stand in front of the harvest table traumatised by the need to make a choice — the Mediterranean-inspired feast on display is abundant and tempting in equal measure.
The speed bug bit her at age nine. Her father had a car workshop and raced himself, and of his three children she is the one who followed in his footsteps.
“There was a go-kart track close to dad’s workshop in Edenvale and the parents had a party there, and said, OK kiddies, you go try out. There were no go-karts for kids, they had to put in pillows, and I was slow as anything.
“I was like, I would love to do this more, so I was allowed to practice there. Then my dad got me my first kart and my aim was to not be last, so out of 46 kids I was 39.”
Needless to say, she moved on from there pretty quickly.
Women’s sport is having something of a moment. Banyana Banyana, cricket, swimming, but what really thrills Fabienne is that while in “most sports the women’s division is separate, in racing women and men compete against each other”.
For someone who started off in ballet, I wonder how she coped in this predominantly male environment.
“Yes, being a girl, you get bullied. My dad actually said we’re going to stop racing if you don’t fix this. So I started bumping people. They would deliberately drive into you and push you off. And I had no friends at the time because they don’t talk to you, and when you start beating them they get worse.
“But when they started seeing me as a driver, it obviously changed. The category one race, anything 16 and over, I say there are between 2% and 5% women. I’ve raced overseas as well. That is the Formula One of karting, so it’s a six-speed shifter kart. The top speed is 140 on the Benoni track and in that there were two other girls. But I was the only girl in the finals. We are the minority for sure.”
Yes, being a girl, you get bullied. My dad actually said we’re going to stop racing if you don’t fix this. So I started bumping people
I tell Fabienne my sorry tale about the Ferrari and my washout on the track. “What you did is what the majority of women do, myself as well. Women are very conservative because we want to know what happens, when it happens and how to rectify it; to not crash.
“I see it in my girl students. They take a bit longer to get to speed but they're always in control. So that is a plus for a woman. And, of course, the boys have a whole testosterone game. I normally use that against them, because I know when the hothead comes and what he is going to do and how to work around it. You just need to outsmart them.”
Before the pandemic, Fabienne was on the fast-track up the GT ranks. She went to Florida, had a factory kart from a manufacturer in Italy. “I have done a lot of kart racing. I won the South African championships.”
I wonder what kind of training goes into this sport. “I coach myself. I used to have trainers and they taught me everything I need to know. Now I’ve got a personal trainer for physical training; we carry rocks around. I love it, it’s like the warrior race — you climb up ropes, do hip-hop and Pilates.”
It's the kind of training that works because often she is driving in cars that are not designed for women.
“I have done a lot of team driving where most of the guys are bigger. So the seats are too big. Then you have to make the seat belt really tight and you are still bouncing around in the seat. I need padded vests to make me fatter.
“You also want to have the same height, for the pedals. My feet are also smaller, so we have to find ways to drive but also stick to the rules. It’s a little strenuous.” She is immensely enthusiastic, super calm, very clear-headed and (please excuse this) driven.
And don't even think about messing with her: “When I race overseas, my tactic in the first session is to bump a few people because then the word goes around, and I am known as the girl from the south.
“They they're no, no, no, that's the one from the south — just leave that one alone. They are all there in their little European bubble. I must add, some of the guys are quite intimidating and I tune them straight. One guy pulled the dirty on me and I dug my hand into his shoulder when we finished. I said: 'I don’t know if you speak English, but if you understand this or not, next time you do something like that your face is in the tyres.' He replied in English and a week later sent a friend request on Facebook.”
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