Finding purpose is the only thing worth living for. It's the end-game in advance. That may be a hectic way of putting it but the absence of purpose is simply a void, a wasteland. We are not leaves in a stream.
I’m not talking about making a living, or enjoying our job, or feeling that you’re making a contribution to society, or staying fit and healthy. No, let's go deeper than that, in search of a singularity that is your very own purpose — bespoke to the sum of the parts of who you are.
I’m not even sure there is such a thing for everybody, but I’ve seen evidence of it in others, and I want it for me. There’s an intensity, a focus found in purpose that we don’t just bump into at the mall, or on the beach. These, people’s very reasons for being, are not worn on their sleeves. Instead, we wear our wannabe, or wanna-be-perceived-to-be stuff on our sleeves, practically begging to be seen. Our real, valuable selves, for those who have discovered them, are kept private, shared with few, if any.
Primal purpose may well be formulated, influenced by our environment, or by the people we meet and the experiences we go through, but its final foundation will be found through internal rather than external scouring. You don’t necessarily have to seek your purpose on purpose. It may just come to you; you may be one of those lucky people that have an epiphany, a sudden clarity that emerges out of a particular (or series of related) experiences.
The most valuable life experiences are the hard ones; the difficulties that we conquered, personally and purposefully. Very little is truly gained without hardship. Don’t prematurely wish upon yourself an easy life. Success is often harder to deal with than failure, partly because achieving some universal measure of success can be disappointing, when you get there. Money is a classic example — it's ultimately the least rewarding life currency.
We remember fondly, and often miss, the difficult stuff that we overcame in our past. Those are the stories we share around the fire, or at the dinner table, or on a long family trip — that’s what we talk about, laugh about, cry about, and sometimes can’t resist boasting about. It’s all of this that you need to digest, challenge and accept in seeking out purpose.
Start with something as trivial as clearing your wardrobe. Regardless of how fashionable or expensive they may have been when you bought them, if you haven’t worn something through one full season, give it to someone who will
While purpose can be found by association, or calling, in the principles of the Samurai, or the teachings of religion, or the joy of healing, or in the gift of family, I believe true purpose is found alone, or at least inside you. Are you brave enough to go there, and deal with what you find?
I spend most of my life alone. Mostly, I get on really well with my selves, but we argue more than I would like to. We are walking towards one another, and I’ve no doubt that some day we’ll meet and settle our differences. Soon enough, I hope. At the epicentre of that togetherness will be the common purpose found among the many parts of myself. I’ve actively sought out purpose, as a mission, but with limited success. Embarking on such a journey does, however, have measurable benefits, the most obvious of which is clearing out the clutter in your life.
Start with something as trivial as clearing your wardrobe. Regardless of how fashionable or expensive they may have been when you bought them, if you haven’t worn something through one full season, give it to someone who will. When you’re done with that, move up the clutter hierarchy until you find you’re not only ditching things, but issues, and, finally, people. Deal with your worry lists, box or discard them. Accept the things that are impossible to solve. Keep the lessons learnt, but move on. Make more space to do more of less, and then do it,
Once you’ve found the path, submit to where it's taking you. We spend too much time figuring out who we ought to be, and not enough on who we are. Submit to who you are. Whether you like it or not, or initially expect it or not, what you enjoy, and what you’re probably good at, will become clear to you. Finding purpose is not selfish. It can also be found in your engagement with friends who’ll tell you the truth — not always good news, but always valuable.
If ever you do find your purpose on this planet (yes, it's that profound), for goodness' sake embrace it; dive in head first. It’ll give you something to do that will fulfil you every moment of your life from then onwards, regardless of the background noise of living that comes with being part of a social ecosystem.
Imagine if you get there. People will wonder what it is that makes you so painfully at peace and happy — but that’s their problem, not yours.
Happy holidays!
