Mmusi, Gayton, Bantu and more: ‘What I learned from my mother’

South African poet, Thabang Ngoma, wrote a poem a few years ago called Mother, You Are, with some verses that are relevant to Mother’s Day, today, coming a few weeks before our General Elections on 29 May. He wrote: “You are in essence and in spirit maternal/A soul full of love unconditional and eternal/In growing through the many stages and phases/You guided me to discard my many vices. 

Last year, an article in Business Day mentioned a report by the Social Research Foundation, which stated that, across political party lines and income levels in South Africa, two-fifths of South Africans have grown up in single-parent homes. The study confirmed that generally, the responsibility of single parenting rests on mothers. More than 40% of our nation’s mothers are single parents, according to the last Gallup World Poll taken in 2018.

Many of our children are being brought up by their mothers alone, and many of them in very difficult circumstances. A few lines further in Ngoma's poem he writes: My immaturity hated your firm hand and strict rules/Now in maturity I embrace and enforce these principles. We owe our nation’s mothers a huge debt of gratitude.

With this is mind, I asked each leader or premier of every party on the 2024 ballot to answer a few question in tribute to the mothers who brought them up and guided them to become the leaders they are today. Four party leaders responded:

Mmusi Maimane, Party leader of Build One South Africa

Mother’s Name: Bandlakazi Maimane

Mother’s Occupation: My mother was a cashier and worked in a pharmaceutical factory most of her life. And though retired she sees her current role as re-fired

One abiding memory of your mother: My mother is left handed and a disciplinarian. So we always knew her incredible left hand of correction.

What important lessons did your mother teach you (about leadership)?  The generosity of leaders. My mother always had people stay with us, and she taught us never to discriminate against another person. Leadership must emanate from a place of love for those you lead, otherwise it can be abuse of power.

What lessons are you passing on to your own kids? Always seek to serve another human being. And regardless of what status they hold in society, you always seek to uplift those who can do nothing for you in return.

Vuyiswa Ramokgopa, RISE Mzansi National Chairperson and Gauteng Premier candidate

Mothers name: Gloria Mosia

Mother’s occupation: Businesswoman

One abiding memory of your mother: My mom always believed in sitting in the front row, even when we were late. Even at church. I would sometimes want to die of embarrassment having to walk past everyone to get to the front row but she would always walk confidently with her head held high and inevitably always get the best seat in the house. She always said, if you behave like a Queen, people will treat you as such. 

What important lessons has mom taught you (about leadership): My mom is one of the hardest working people I know. She has been running her own business since I was nine years old and, for as long as I’ve been alive, I’ve never witnessed her miss a deadline or under-deliver on what she promised. She has always been the last one to sleep and the first one to wake up. She taught me the value of being consistent, reliable and caring about the most minute details, because that is what enabled her to endure in her business and outlive many of her competitors. 

Also, she works in the advertising industry, and when she entered the industry, it was very rare to see African women holding senior roles in the ad industry, let alone running their own companies. She was never content with being the “first and only” and has, in her more than three decades in the industry, always made it her mission to empower and open up the industry for others, particularly young people and other women. 

How do you use these lessons in your role at Rise Mzansi: As a leader, she has taught me about leading from behind, never expecting others to do what you are not willing to do, being consistent and never compromising on your values and ethics. I believe that I apply these principles in my current role and in all aspects of my life. I also believe that leadership is fundamentally about empowering others and enabling them to achieve their highest and best selves in service of a greater cause, and this is something I have had the privilege to witness my whole life. 

Gayton McKenzie, leader of the Patriotic Alliance 

Mothers name: Louisa McKenzie

Mother’s occupation: She started out as a domestic worker and ended as Wine Manager at Pick n Pay.

One abiding memory of your mother: How she would visit me for a decade without missing one week when I was incarcerated.

What important lessons has mom taught you (about leadership): She said that you cannot be a leader if you are sensitive to what negative things people say about you.

What lessons are helping you take SA to a better place? I haven’t read about poverty or studied poverty, I was poor and worked my way out of poverty. I tried crime and paid a heavy price — there are no shortcuts to building wealth.

I wouldn’t theorise about how to change people’s lives, I am practical about it because I changed my own life.

Bantu Holomisa, President of the United Democratic Movement

Mother’s Name: Nokhonsathi

Mother’s Occupation: Nokhonsathi worked as a nurse in private hospitals and old-age homes in Johannesburg when I was a little boy. It wasn’t a very positive memory for me as a young child, as I had heard how people never came back from eRhawuthini [Johannesburg].

One abiding memory of your mother: Nokhonsathi would shower me with love during her visits from Johannesburg, seemingly trying to make up for lost time. I appreciated her care and attention, especially because I always looked neat and well-fed when she was around. Mama placed a high value on cleanliness and education, likely influenced by her profession as a nurse.

To her, anything dirty was teeming with germs, and she made sure I understood the importance of hygiene. That was the impression I had of my mother: health-conscious and strict about cleanliness.

She was a very meticulous woman, and took great pride in her household and in everything she did. After retiring, she moved in with me and my family in Fort Gale, Mthatha.

Despite many years passing and me reaching adulthood, she was there among us, still calling me “my child” and occasionally shouting, “Bantubonke, mnt’anam yiza apha” [Bantubonke, come here, my child!]. It felt like I was still a teenager, as she would sometimes send me on sudden errands, disregarding the protocol and security considerations befitting a head of state. Yet, I had to oblige.

In our culture, you forever remain a child or a “little boy” to your parents, regardless of whether you are a grown man with a family or leading a country. To them, such distinctions are meaningless.

What important lessons did your mother teach you? I was a mama’s boy if you’d like, Nokhonsathi took an interest in my work and politics. Sometimes she would tell me what to and what not to do in government in order to stay safe. She taught me the values of family, fierce loyalty and honesty above all. The latter two are qualities I practice daily in my leadership style.

What lessons are helping you take SA to a better place? I learned dedication and work ethic from my mother. She lived by that mantra despite the initial strain it placed on our relationship. Fortunately, as I grew older, we moved past that, and the discipline she instilled in me became ingrained, shaping who I am today. I dearly miss her guidance and counsel.