All about mother(hood)

The film, Nightbitch, based on a 2021 book by Rachel Yoder (the ending differs from the book), is for every woman who's loved motherhood but struggled with the mental fog that the exhaustion of caring for a newborn creates. There might be a reason for the mind-numbing melting of the brain. It's possible that the brain shuts down so that you don’t remember how sapping of your energy bringing another human into the world can be, and are willing to repeat the process.

My son didn’t sleep for two years. He had night startles and would wake screaming. It would happen more than once a night. Paediatricians told me he would outgrow it, but during that time I began to doubt whether I'd survive. Feeding another human from your body, teaching them things you’ve forgotten need to be taught, repetition, positivity, lightness, support ...

There’s a reason toddlers are some of the cutest most irresistible creations ever — they demand that you love them and focus on the joy of their achievements so you don’t (well, in the case of Nightbitch) imagine you are actually a canine. That a female dog shares the epithet for women who push back, speak up, or fail to comply with social framing or are dismissive of compliance, adds dimension to the film’s title. Magical realism is used to highlight the power structures at adds with contemporary motherhood.

We find Amy Adams, the star and co-producer of Nightbitch at a time when her husband (Scoot McNairy) is travelling and so she has no relief from being the caretaker of her totally adorable son. The former successful artist looks snidely down her nose at the other mothers in her “Mum and Me” classes. When her husband returns home and says the thing every husband from the beginning of time has said to stay-at-home mothers, “I wish I could stay home with our child”, the lament provokes a confrontation. She knows she is being irritable and irrational, but exhaustion has sapped logic. Slowly she begins to hallucinate that she’s turning into a b*tch, a night b*tch, who runs free with the neighbourhood dogs, digs in the dirt and, well, to reveal more would be to spoil the surprise.

Adams explains the appeal of the project: “There was something I deeply identified with about the idea of loss of identity and transformation and using motherhood as an allegory for those things. I needed someone special to bring it to life. Marielle Heller, the director/writer had given birth in the midst of Covid isolation. She had a toddler and a baby and was living in a cabin with her husband working. I thought she'd definitely have a unique and personal perspective on this story.”

Women will be chuckling at scenes where the husband wants to know why there’s no milk in the refrigerator, never considering that they could just hop in the car and get it themselves. Adams identified in particular with a scene where the husband confesses to not knowing how to use the coffee maker. “Over the summer, I had a slight misunderstanding with my husband, Darren Le Gallo, over the coffee maker. I had made coffee the previous day while we were on location. I was busy working when he asked, “‘How does the coffeemaker work”?

She laughs. “If I figured it out, you can figure it out, I told him. It's become a scene in the movie. So, authentic!” She admits that she and her actor/director husband switch roles at home and co-parent their daughter Ariana, now 14. “Sometimes we’re traditional, sometimes not. He’s great, but he still can’t figure out the coffee machine by himself.”

The two-time Golden Globe winner (American Hustle and Big Eyes) and six-time Oscar nominee found that the role embraces the joy, the play and the feral nature of motherhood. “It was empowering saying the quiet things out loud, voicing this deep fear of invisibility and insignificance that often comes with being a mother.”

She also found the role empowering: “I let go of judgment of myself. I never thought about performance or how I looked.” Indeed, the US press has made much about the fact that she didn’t curb any facial hair while shooting, as she normally would, plucking a sprout of unruly ones on a face mole. “I was able to be present myself as I am and that was very empowering. “

This has started conversations about women, women’s bodies, women’s bodily functions, their desires, female rage and frustration. “I hope it will start conversations so that we can effect meaningful change in the way we support women and families that will validate the idea of parenthood as a very important job to elevate humanity and our future,” she says.

She gives a gentle warning that despite the challenges of early motherhood, as children grow mothers often miss the intense bonding hey experienced when their kids were very young. “I have a different perspective on that time now because my daughter is 14. What I wouldn’t give to sing my child a lullaby tonight for the fifth time,” she laments. 

She also admits to having a little bit of an animalistic side, like her character. “Mine is a little more golden retriever. I just want to snack and cuddle and play fetch. But I’m definitely very protective. When I feel like I need to protect somebody or if I see something unjust, I get [she makes a deep growling noise and hen smiles]. I can feel that.”