One of the things that always baffles me is that men — all men — must, without fail, emerge from their mama’s lady parts. Some, to be fair, are cut from her womb — but by and large, for ever and ever, this is the universal route of entry into this world. Even Jesus, even Muhammad, even Zeus and Buddha had the same origins.
This birth thing is, of course, jarring. It happens to all the other genders too — so we know. But why has the male taken it so badly?
I would understand if the mamas were horrible to them after this right of passage and, I don’t know, denied them the breast, did not attend to their needs, took to the streets, abused them, beat them, kept them chained in the bathroom or abandoned them. But is this a universal phenomenon? Are most mamas just low key “bad” or absolutely bloody awful. And what about the grandmamas — who have picked up the pieces and the babies and raised them across multiple generations from time immemorial? Are they also up to no good? I’m asking for a friend!
Her name is Ahoo Daryaei. She's currently being held in an unknown location in Iran after she took off her clothes and stood around in her Bridget Jones big girl pantaloons and sports bra last Saturday at the Islamic Assad University in Tehran, waiting to be arrested by the morality police. She did not look happy.
Apparently, she'd been harassed by the campus strongmen who make sure that everyone wears the veil and toes the line... and then she cracked and just took everything off. The Iranians don’t want any more trouble than they're already contending with, what with the Israelis and the US hot on their heels. So the kind of thing that erupted two years ago when so many Iranians took to the streets and threatened complete anarchy after the strongmen killed Mahsa Amini for not wearing her veil properly just will not do. The Iranians have explained that this girl Ahoo is basically your garden variety crazy. She is mad and has been taken for “treatment”. They found she was under a lot of “severe mental pressure and had a mental disorder”. Her husband concurred.
And by God, Jove, Allah and all the other male deities you might wish to invoke, I really don’t think they're lying. I think she has properly lost the plot, cooked her goose and taken to the hills screaming like a banshee — in a metaphorical sense of course — because she is presently being cured of all her problems in some unnamed facility. You have to be some kind of nuts to bring that on yourself. I can't imagine what tipped her over the edge?
I, for one, am so pleased and relieved that she's getting the help she needs. Look what happens when the “mad” woman in the attic gets loose? She burns down the house! I'm speaking of poor Mr Rochester here — the saintly man who kept his own hysterical woman locked up for her own good and then gaslit old Jane Eyre about it. The centuries and asylums are littered with “crazy” women. Generally men managed to stone, rape, pillage and burn them at the stake before the craziness caught on in the broader female population.
JD Vance is taking out the female “trash”, and I am really thankful that finally someone — namely The Donald is going to “protect women, whether they like it or not”.
But things have gone too far now. Votes, education, freedom, rights, running for president, actually becoming president of several places... what the hell is going on? Even Taylor Swift is singing about “mad women” and endorsing sad cat ladies.
As Donald Trump has said of all these presumptuous women, “She's a bad person, evil, an evil, sick crazy, bit….” No he did not call Nancy Pelosi a bitch — his Maga crowd chanted it back at him. His acolytes have called Kamala Harris a prostitute, while Hillary Clinton was a “sick son of a bitch” and Elon Musk's super PAC said “Kamala Harris is a C word”. No, you guys, not that C word — a communist.
JD Vance is taking out the female “trash”, and I am really thankful that finally someone — namely The Donald is going to “protect women, whether they like it or not”. He's the man who, in his 2016 campaign, responded to Megyn Kelly — who asked him why it was OK to call women “fat pigs, dogs and slobs” while also “grabbing them by the pussy” — by saying she had “blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever”.
I want you to understand that this is what's happening to the crazy girl in Iran and those others in Afghanistan who aren't allowed to be heard in public any longer. And it's happening to all the millions of women getting raped and pummelled daily in war zones or in their homes, and to all the women who can't get abortions any more in the US. They are all finally safe. The leader of the free world is going to protect them from momma’s boys whether they like it or not. I think he's finally going to get us all the help we really need. Not!
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