‘Babygirl’ bends (over) how we see desire, power and self-discovery

Babygirl evokes undefined responses. Just the title, Babygirl — as a double whammy to women; not a baby, not a girl, an adult. To hear director, writer, editor, actress Halina Reijn refer to the film as a 90s homage adds to the confused rush of response the movie provokes because, as she notes, “a lot of those 90s sexual thrillers that inspired this film, made me feel less alone with my darker fantasies, but in a lot of them the femme fatale gets punished or somebody dies”.

That term “femme fatale” is such dated terminology to describe a stock character: mysterious, beautiful, seductive. Female, of course — because men who find a woman irresistible have to blame the woman and not their native desires. It’s how witches came into being — blame someone for your own compunctions and then punish them for your desire.

That preamble brings us to Romy (Nicole Kidman), a successful woman who has never been sexually satisfied by her husband (Antonio Banderas) of many decades. When an appealing intern (Harris Dickinson) makes a pointed play for her, she’s titillated by someone who challenges her power and takes control of her in the one place she doesn’t need to exert control, the bedroom. Exerting control allows her to explore fantasies she’s never been able to with her husband.

There’s a lot of — let’s say, “release” — in the film. Interesting, because if this was a traditional 90s psychosexual drama, we wouldn’t spend much time on this aspect for male protagonists.

There’s also the social dynamics at play. She’s the boss, older, married. She should say, “No.” If the gender were reversed, there would be immediate condemnation.

The interesting aspect is to explore that mature women have desire. Media relegate mature women to the undesirable and sexless. The question just out of focus is if the young intern, well-played by Dickinson, is pursuing his boss out of desire or to leverage his career. Do nubile women find gross, powerful men attractive, or are they there for the money, power and prestige? The film explores all of these aspects through sexual power plays. The lead spends a lot of time on screen reaching for sexual gratification alone, with her husband and with the intern. It requires Nicole Kidman to expose herself on a level women usually don’t.

“There’s a jump-off-the-cliff thing where you go, ‘I’m just going to abandon everything and explore this with people I trust in a genre that’s already set. Hopefully we can explore new territory, especially with a female at the helm, so you get a whole different perspective on it,” explains Kidman of her willingness to expose and explore female sexuality on screen. “That was very exciting. I was just grateful to have the opportunity, honestly.” 

Kidman, who has some familiarity with films exploring women’s sexuality (Eyes Wide Shut; To Die For), welcomed having a woman, Reijn, behind the camera who was also the writer, editor and an actress herself. The Aussie mother of Isabella and Connor with first husband Tom Cruise and Sunday Rose with her current husband, country singer Keith Urban, heralded her female director.

“She has such a unique perspective. I would say to Halina, 'well, do it for me, do what you were thinking, do what you were feeling',” shares the Oscar winner (The Hours) unexpectedly.

“While you are doing some of the long scenes, like who is dominating now and what’s happening, Halina wanted me to crack up laughing. It’s good direction because it’s real. When you are trying to find your place in the sexuality, it’s not like you go in knowing what you’re doing. It’s performance then reality — the laughter.

“I found it exciting and it freaked me out. I mean that’s what we are here to do, explore, examine our lives, the human existence. Sexuality is a huge part of that. Also love and the existential process of, who am I, what am I, where am I going, what do I want, what do I desire, is any of this real?

“All the questions weave in and you find your way through. Hopefully it’s entertaining also, so people don’t sit there and go, ‘OK, this is just an indulgent piece of crap’.’’

The director interjects. “There’s tragedy but also humour. That’s the key to everything. Laughter like a Trojan horse to talk about deeper and darker subjects. We spoke about that and exploring what is masculinity, femininity and literally showing that within a scene. What is it being a dom or a sub, and what does that even mean?

Harris Dickinson, a rapidly rising star (The Iron Claw, Triangle of Sadness, Where the Crawdads Sing), admits to awkwardness while filming the intimate scenes.

“It’s embarrassing to do vulnerable scenes and explore new sides of the character’s desire. There were days I’d go in terrified of a scene. Having an actor/director allowed a short hand which removed fear, replaced it with a safety net so you explore new territory within the genre,” says the actor.

“I wanted to make a tribute to a liberated person, like a letter to myself — not that I’m living it. To enjoy yourself with your partner, meet each other where you are. It’s OK to have your darker fantasies and a darker side. It’s not only about sexuality. Sexuality is only a metaphor for existing. I hope in the end she is capable of embracing herself a little more. I am very happy my movie has a happy ending,” notes the director.

Kidman sits very erect, like a sketch of narrow elongated lines covered by milk skin. She raises her chin and adds: “It’s two people choosing to meet each other in a relationship and place in their lives with enormous love, that ultimately carries them through.

“We have so many facets to our psyches, our bodies, to who we are, what we need, what we want. They’ve changed, they will explore their union with love for each other. That’s what I find very hopeful about the movie.”