Bless Instagram, and Tik Tok too. Before content creators posted on the socials about the quirks of Chinese moms and por-pors (grannies), those of us who grew up decades before in the homes of Asian moms and por-pors, followed rules, rituals, superstitions and beliefs with silent, isolated obedience. Also fear. Because why would you disobey ancient traditions and tempt the gods and ancestors who bestow good fortune on your family? And why would you disobey an Asian mom?
Fast forward to today and social media has unexpectedly helped settle a few childhood niggles for me. In pausing between doom-scrolling I’ve found reels and posts that mirror realities from when I was a kid. These reels come as giant sigh in surrender and also some chuckles that aspects of my growing up years were not weird at all — in fact it was, and still is, the weird-ordinary of many Chinese kids growing up over generations, and across the world.
In my growing up years in Joburg, my siblings and I were expected to follow rituals and customs that weren’t seemingly rational but were 100 percent normal in our house. For instance, my mom would warn us that we’d invite deathly illnesses if we went to bed with damp hair. If we drank ice-cold water it would unbalance the digestive goodness in your gut — and yes, lead to more deathly illness. Of course, there were cures too — straight from my mother’s handbag and kitchen cupboards. There was always a dab of white flower oil ready — the iconic bak fah yow that’s part eucalyptus and lavender oils and menthol something — retrieved from one of the multi compartments of my mom’s handbag to be smeared across our nostrils, foreheads, or wherever else we were hurting. It was a cure for everything from travel sickness, headaches and insect bites. My brother keeps a bottle of the oil to hand to this day.
We also drank mugs of chrysanthemum tea often. It was meant to balance “heat” in the body and be a tonic. In English that would translate as lowering inflammation and boosting immunity. I loathed the taste of the brew as a child and my mother never bothered to sieve the tea; so, when a stray soggy petal got stuck on my lips it was gross texture that made me spit and pull faces.
Watching today’s social media posts and reels of how Chinese old wives’ tales refuse to date always has me giggle. They’re funny because they hold truth, also because they reveal the small intimacies of what happens under a family roof. It says something about community identity too. That traditions and beliefs endure generation after generation says something about rituals and customs giving meaning to the very state of being human.
In the coming days, the lunar calendar counts down for the annual Chinese celebration that has rituals, customs and traditions in bucket loads. January 29 is Chinese New Year. This year marks the Year of the Wood Snake. Wood in the rotation of the five elements within the Chinese Zodiac — Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal and Water. The Snake being the sixth animal of twelve that make up the Chinese Zodiac.
As folklore and legend goes, the Jade Emperor called for a contest, beckoning the animals in the kingdom to a race. The Snake tracked to finish in seventh position, but it wound itself around the Horse’s hoof in secret and at the finish line, slithered out at the last moments to sneak into the sixth spot, beating the Horse. In robbing the Horse of its position, it made the snake a sworn enemy of the horse. Till today horses despise snakes and are known to trample the reptiles on sight.
The twelve zodiac animals, along with the five elements, are said to reveal personality traits of people, also to offer up clues for life paths and fortunes. The Snake, like all the zodiac creatures, is a balance of strengths and weakness and unique characteristics. Some would say the Snake is smart and determined, also symbolic of being a good navigator and one who can sense a room as it moves without any legs and stays grounded, feeling out vibrations. Snakes are linked to healing, to rebirth, change and transformation — the one that sheds its skin to be born anew. They feature prominently in early Chinese artefacts and artworks and some say snakes are earthly remnants of dragons, a significant totem in Chinese folklore and the mighty creature precedes the Snake in the zodiac. The Snake, however, might also be regarded as cunning, filled with poison it’s not afraid to use, slippery and not easily trustworthy. Famous Snakes include Pablo Picasso, Mahatma Gandhi, Bob Dylan and JK Rowling.
Back to the rituals of ringing in a New Year. Preparations begin with cleaning. The family home must be cleaned thoroughly, as an act to clearing negativity and bad lack; literally to sweep out the old to make room for new abundance and good fortune. This must be done before the first day of the new year because no sweeping and cleaning should be done on New Year’s Day, to prevent any accidental sweeping away of new good luck.
For us kids, cleaning was the drudge bit of preparing for a new year. It was made worse because my mother would warn us not to break anything, so washing up was a deliberate, nerve-racking task and not easily completed with my clumsy hands and distracted mind already thinking about the celebration. Breaking something on New Year’s Eve would bring bad luck and that brokenness would be something you’d take into the new year. Very unlucky, my mother would say.
New Year’s Eve would also be the last chance to wash your hair. The Chinese word for hair is a homophone for prosperity, so washing your hair on New Year’s Day amounts to washing away good luck.
To buffer it all though my mom would put up lucky couplets in auspicious red and gold on our doors and walls. Fresh flowers, fruits like tangerines and kumquats and trays of sweets would be placed in the house. The pantry would be stocked, and jars and jugs of sugar, salt, oil and rice would be filled to the brim. There would be lei see — the lucky red packets of gifts in money prepared for us children and we would be dressed in red or in bright colours.
The Gen-Zers on social media have hacks now for some of the rituals and superstitions. They turn to dry shampoo or let robot vacuum cleaners take the brunt of the bad luck and still get some cleaning done.
Ultimately, Chinese New Year’s Eve is a day of reunion and of sharing blessings around a table of plenty with family and loved ones. Across China mass migrations are undertaken as people return to their family homes. The journeys are filial piety and familial duty. And the long journeys are rewarded with feasting. The communal meal is a blessing of abundance, togetherness, and thanksgiving. The menus are lavish, symbolic and carefully thought out, so each bite is a wish for goodness, joy and peace. From serving a whole chicken with head and feet intact as a symbol of unity, to prawns because they are a homophone for laughter; dumplings for their shape resembling gold ingots; the delicacy of black sea moss for their name that sounds like fortune; and noodles, stretched out in forever strands, for wishes of longevity.
“Fill up your bowl; have seconds,” my mom would say as we grew blissfully over-full at the New Year’s Eve dinner table. We would oblige and fill our bowls a second time, knowing it was my mother’s wish for more good things to come to us. Also, that time shared — one more bite together — will always be the best fortune of them all.
SIDEBAR
Chinese New Year celebrations in Joburg and Bronkhorstspruit will be in full swing this year with three jam-packed events over two weekends welcoming in The Year of the Wood Snake.
After a missed year of celebrations last year, The Chinese Association (TCA) has a bumper day of fun planned. Festivities take place at the Alberton Rugby Club in Elandsfontein, Alberton on February 1 and doors open at 2pm. Expect a variety of craft and food stalls with all things of culinary celebration. There will be dragon and lion dances, martial arts demonstrations and helicopter flips. The night will end with a musical fireworks display. Tickets are R90 an adult, R60 for pensioners and children under 12 enter free. Tickets are available via Quicket or at the door.
The following day on February 2 celebrations shift to the Nan Hua Temple in Bronkhorstpruit. The spectacular cultural and religious precinct will welcome visitors from 9.30am starting with a Chinese New Year light offering. The Buddhist dharma blessing is made for illumination and prosperity in the new year. From 10am there will be an official opening at the main shrine followed by a programme of multicultural performances. There will be food and cultural stalls and visitors can leave a wish for the new year by tying a ribbon at the temple’s wishing tree. Entry is free.
On February 8 it will be the turn of Cyrildene Chinatown. Celebrations take place in the strip between the iconic arches on Derrick Avenue and festivities will kick off at 4.30pm. There will be lion and dragon dancing, parades of Chinese traditional dress and food from the local restaurants. Festivities will round off with a fireworks display. Entry is free.
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