History’s greatest hedonist Hunter S. Thompson once said: “Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, 'Wow! What a ride!’”
Well, buckle up, ladies and gents. This overheating, blue chunk of space rock is about to start burning rubber across the solar system, and our social discourse is going to be the first thing it crashes into. It’s been a great ride, but the current and coming changes in the social media landscape are probably going to plunge us deeper into hell than any proctologist (who's not on a sex offender list) is comfortable with. That means more misinformation, disinformation, uninformation, and straight-up poppycock — all of which leads us to be more at each other’s throats than ever before. Given that death threats on X can get hurled if you like the wrong music, this is pretty dire. Welcome to 2025, the year the snake starts eating its tail.
Welcome to the ninth circle of the social media hellscape
The year has been alive for a barely one pay cycle, and we’ve seen Facebook scrap content moderation, TikTok get banned and unbanned, and Pretoria Boys High School’s richest alum/owner of X get a cabinet position. And isn’t it suspicious how, during the inauguration, all the heads of the world’s biggest tech companies were sitting close enough to grab Trump by the…
It’s plain to see that The Oros in Chief and his billionaire boys' club are plotting something, and that something has to do with the foie gras of information we get force-fed on social media. A 2024 study by research nerds at Statista found that 71% of South Africans use social media as a news source. The US was close to 50%, and Kenya was at 77%. Given that misinformation is already social media’s nom de plume and Trump its Grand Duke of Mendacity, this shift towards more loosely-controlled content suggests Ragnarok may be on the horizon. OK, that may have been a touch hyperbolic, but if the recent experiences of X users can be used as a yardstick, be prepared to see your Facebook and Instagram feeds filled with more filth, fights and flights of conspiracy fancy.
The culture wars are spreading
On the other end of the culture war front, the world’s greybeards and those not old enough to remember the Lunch Bar ads with Makhathini are getting fed up with one another. For the young ones, it’s unconscionable that their parents and grandparents were able to buy houses, cars, and annual family holidays by the time many millennials are still trying to convince themselves that 30 is the new 21. According to Stats SA, almost half of the country’s youth is unemployed, and, if parliament is anything to go by, the Gen X-ers and boomers are in no rush to give up their seats on the employment bus. If think pieces are to be believed, that means the elderly have stolen all the world's wealth and are hoarding it in some bunker that can only be accessed by rotary telephone. On the other end, it means young people are becoming sexless teetotallers who don’t know how to talk to the opposite sex and don’t want to move out.
Then there's that men and women increasingly hate each other. If you chat to almost any single person old enough to have a one-night stand, they’ll tell you that the dating pool is like storming the beaches of Normandy. Everywhere you go — especially if you’re straight — your phone is bombarded by veiny pictures of overeager penises, demands for e-wallets, and links to shouty podcasts about why the opposite sex may be the worst thing since the nightlife in Gomorrah fizzled out. All of this as we continue with our anaemic attempts to fix climate change, a flaccid economy, the rise of right-wing political parties (Nazi ones not conservative ones), and a Zulu wedding drama that would inspire Shakespeare.
May as well have a whale of a time, because there ain’t much left
It may be tempting to get all despondent and lament the good old days, but that’s a boring way to look at things. Take some advice from my therapist and shift your perspective. This isn’t some tragic end of days but rather the beginning of one last big bacchanal. All the chaperones have gone home, the liquor cabinet has been left unattended and it’s time to dance like you’ll never use your hips again. What world will we leave for future generations? Between Trump’s access to nuclear weapons, online hate and climate change, future generations should just say “f- it” and come party with the rest of us. Some of us can show you what the 80s was really like. Society is skidding broadside into oblivion, smoke billowing, thoroughly used up and totally worn out. So grab your favourite vice and enjoy the rest of the ride.
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