Of all the strange and amusing international days to celebrate annually, International Masturbation Day straddles both as one that promotes the right to self-pleasure, creates awareness around it and highlights its importance.
Depending on who you ask, you may even be told the whole of May is a celebration of masturbation.
It started in San Francisco in protest against the firing in 1994 of then-US surgeon general Joycelyn Elders by president Bill Clinton after she suggested masturbation's inclusion in the national sex education curriculum may be beneficial.
Sex shop Good Vibrations started National Masturbation Day on May 7 the next year and in 2005 it was changed to May 28. But regardless of which day you choose to celebrate, the message remains the same: everyone has the right to masturbate.
If you aren’t convinced, just ask Dr Mpume Zenda, an obstetrician-gynecologist known on Instagram as Dr Gynae. She’ll tell you it makes for a happier you. “People who experience pleasure are nicer to be around, to work with and actually not only do you decrease the amount of stress in your life when you're happier, but you also find you can think more creatively, which means you can be more productive.”
Zenda spoke on the topic at a Viya Health ZA event ahead of May 28. To find out more, we spoke to her about the importance of International Masturbation Day, the myths, misconceptions and even some of the dangers surrounding the practice.
Why is today an important day for raising awareness of masturbation?
We need to start prioritising self-pleasure. The word “masturbation” carries a negative connotation. It's acceptable and socioculturally OK for men, but when women start to speak about doing it, it's a problem. When you allow women to get to know their bodies they can refine their sexual tastebuds in terms of what they like, what gives them pleasure and it allows them to, even when they're in partnered spaces, ask for and articulate what they are looking for.
Common misconceptions about masturbation?
The misconceptions around masturbation are layered. Many are sexist — for women, it's often considered to be dirty, something that makes a woman seem perverted. Then you get myths: if you masturbate you'll grow hair on your hands. If you masturbate, you’ll never have pleasure in a partner relationship. Also, that masturbation should only be done in secret, that it should be hidden as opposed to something that can actually be brought into a partnered relationship to enhance and spice up a sexual relationship.
You’ve spoken about the importance of pleasure in making people happier and more productive. What are some of the other benefits?
There are many benefits of having, for example, an orgasm. It relaxes you. For women, it helps with pain during their cycle. It helps them understand their bodies better. It’s not in the how you get pleasure — whether you're self-pleasuring or having sexual intimacy with a partner; being able to choose frees women and empowers them.
Unknown facts?
With anything, whether masturbation or toys, [there are] dangers if you get addicted to the practice. Like when it's done secretly and you have a partner, some people start preferring self-pleasure to being in an intimate space with their partner. Then you have a problem. We encourage people to do it in a healthy manner. If you start finding yourself losing control, it’s important to know that there are professionals, like sexologists and therapists, trained to help you navigate the issues and start to heal that space if there is an addiction.
If people are interested in exploring this, where should they start?
Whether it’s poor sex education or the idea that we’re learning about sexual intimacy from porn is incorrect. There are many resources, but it's important to make sure they are accurate. It could be from a sexual professional, like myself, or a reputable site. For example, I'm part of a site called Enjoy that gives instruction on how to start masturbating and the basics in terms of the anatomy. There’s also Sex and Pleasure. So find reputable resources that teach you about anatomy and give you an idea of where to start. I always say the best way to start is slowly and simply with the basics.
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