The most remote place I've ever been to is Antarctica. It had been a life-long dream and in March I tagged along with some academic friends who were going to a conference in Ushuaia, Argentina, and had arranged a trip to the peninsula. It was hella expensive - $9,000 (R136,200) to share a two-bedroom berth on a 100-passenger ship for nine days - but so worth every cent, every second. After two days roiling across the Drake Passage, I cried when I stepped out on deck to see this landscape of white mountains sunk into the coal-black sea with vivid slashes of blue ice.
The first holiday I remember as a child was going to Umngazi River Bungalows in the Eastern Cape, running wild round the grounds, golden beaches and wilderness, and Santa water-skiing across the lagoon to bring us our presents. It had its perils too. My dad stood on a scorpion fish and was deathly ill.
The first time I went abroad, I was five, my brother was three, and my mom decided to use the insurance money from a break-in to take us to the US. She figured travel and adventure were worth more than jewellery. We did New York and a side trip to Rio, and explored a series of theme parks, Six Flags Over Georgia and Disney World in Florida. But the ones that stuck with me were seeing mermaids at Weeki Wachee Springs State Park in Florida and the shark tunnel at Sea World, which haunted my dreams for decades. That's the trip where I picked up my "international bastard" mid-Atlantic accent.
I Iive in Cape Town, where the tourism highlights are well known. If I was hosting a tourist here, I'd take them to my favourite local shop for local people, The Book Lounge, for a book launch, followed by mac-and-cheese and a show at the voluptuously kitschy and queer The Raptor Room. I'd also take them to Green Point Urban Park, which is my favourite non-wild green space in the city or rent bicycles from the prom and go for a ride alongside the ocean.
My best piece of travel advice is to always check Atlas Obscura for the overlooked strangenesses of a place. It's how we discovered Murphy's Ranch, an actual Nazi encampment from the 1940s, abandoned and graffitied in the hills of Santa Monica that you can hike down to, and the Monster Kabinett in Berlin where an artist leads you on an expedition through a carnival of lurching, clunking, steampunk beasts.
My oddest travel experience was probably eloping to Certaldo Alto, a Medieval walled town in Italy with my now ex-husband Matthew, to have horror-movie music waft down from the balconies of the historic courtyard in the middle of our vows. We explored the upper levels after the ceremony to find an amazing contemporary art exhibition of remixed fairytales, from a very creepy Little Red Riding Hood statue to a scratchy animated video that was a re-telling of the Beauty and the Beast myth, using King Kong. It turned out that that was the origin of the creepy organ music - it was perfect.
I've been lucky to stay in a couple of ridiculously luxurious hotels. The most memorable was probably The Chedi in Muscat, sharing a bed so it was actually affordable with my artist/writer/filmmaker friend Sophia Al Maria.
My favourite international city is Berlin - for all the usual reasons. It feels vital, queer and arty, especially areas like Kreuzberg or Neukölln and it's also a city that has done some heavy reckoning with its past. The dark history is present, acknowledged, exposed to the light. But mainly because you can cycle everywhere.
Some day, I'd really like to see Tokyo, to take in the pop culture and food and history. I love the literature, from Banana Yoshimoto to Haruki Murakami. I love Takashi Murakami's art, Takashi Miike's movies. And, of course, my daughter has grown up on Hayao Miyazaki's films, from Ponyo to Spirited Away, so we would definitely stop at the Ghibli Museum, which showcases his fantastical creations.
I am mostly an adventurous eater when I travel. I love strange combinations of flavours, local markets, small holes in the wall that only locals know about. I'm not down with organ meat or insects and arachnids that still resemble their form. I'd be happy to try a bug burger, but there's no way I'm crunching down on deep-fried tarantula.
• Beukes is a juror for the shnit Worldwide Shorfilmfestival, taking place in Cape Town from October 17 - 28. For detailed screening information, visit capetown.shnit.org. Tickets are via Webtickets.
