A Cape Town model agency owner endured years of emotional and mental abuse by her boyfriend, who allegedly raped her at the end of the relationship — and when the woman tried to speak out after their break-up, he gagged her with a court order.
It took her almost four years of emotional turmoil and a bruising legal battle, but this week the Cape Town high court gave her voice back.
In response, the woman told the Sunday Times: “This judgment has sent a very important and long overdue message to all survivors of gender-based violence that we have the right to talk about our experiences without fear of retaliation or invalidation.”
In court papers, the woman relived her three-year relationship with the streetwear designer, describing the man’s temper and her desperate attempts to end the relationship.
She traced her legal headache to the outcry after the murder in August 2019 of University of Cape Town student Uyinene Mrwetyana, during which she told other women about her ordeal.
Her ex-boyfriend sued her in the Cape Town magistrate’s court, saying the rape claims were detrimental to his business and his reputation.
That October, the magistrate granted an interim order prohibiting the woman from harassing the man and his business and from “spreading further rumours about him on social media or to others”.
A final protection order followed in November 2020, interdicting the woman from “committing emotional abuse and disclosing to anyone in any manner that [her ex-boyfriend] has allegedly raped her”.
The woman appealed with the assistance of the Women's Legal Centre, saying the magistrate's decision “constitutes regression in the national fight against gender-based violence”, and this week the high court scrapped the protection order.
According to the judgment, the alleged rape happened when the woman tried to end her relationship with the man.
Judge Robert Henney said: “The probabilities overwhelmingly favour [her] version, which is that [he] had admitted that he had the raped her ... and apologised. She was therefore justified to call him a rapist.
“There was no need for her to lay a charge against him and to have him prosecuted and convicted to be labelled as a rapist, based on the evidence of this case.”
The alleged rape in 2015 was a form of retribution, said Henney. “She gave a frank and honest explanation of the unusual circumstances that gave rise to it, which was that she had to have sexual relations with another man to try to have the relationship between herself and [her ex-boyfriend] terminated, which led to [him] raping her in retaliation and as punishment for what she had done.”
There was no need for her to lay a charge against him and to have him prosecuted and convicted to be labelled as a rapist, based on the evidence of this case
— Judge Robert Henney
Women's Legal Centre lawyer Chriscy Blouws told the court the former boyfriend “emotionally and mentally abused” the woman during the relationship. The Sunday Times has elected not to name the parties because of the nature of the allegations.
“As a result of concern with [his] temper, [his] mother placed him in a clinic. When he was discharged [the woman] ended the relationship. At that time [he] raped [her],” Blouws said.
In 2017, the couple agreed that the woman would withdraw an application for a protection order and that they would not communicate. Blouws said the woman told people about the alleged rape over time.
“She did so to create a community with other victims of rape, as is her right. She also engaged on social media about the crisis of sexual violence in general and in the fashion industry specifically.”
Blouws said the woman did not mention her alleged rapist’s name but identified him in private posts to a WhatsApp group where women spoke about their experiences in the aftermath of Mrwetyana's murder.
She found out in September 2019 that these messages had been made public on Twitter accounts.
The former boyfriend opposed the appeal, saying it was unreasonable of his ex-lover to discuss him with strangers.
He said she could not make him the “poster child for rape” when he maintained he had never raped anyone. He said the woman was being malicious and her utterances caused him harm and suffering.
Henney, with judge Daniel Thulare concurring, upheld the appeal and ordered the man to pay the woman's legal costs.
He said the harm the man suffered when the woman's WhatsApps became public was not caused by her. And in public posts she did not name him.
The woman said the ruling had freed her from trauma. “I am thrilled with this judgment and with the way the court carefully handled this landmark case,” she told the Sunday Times.
“It has given me the right to my voice and the right to tell my story, after being silenced for years. This was not only a win for me personally, but for all survivors, and this was one of our goals in winning this appeal.
“We are hardly ever afforded justice for the crimes committed against us, both in the legal system and in the court of public opinion, and this is the first time I have felt that I’ve received true justice for my ordeal.”
The former boyfriend did not respond when contacted for comment. His lawyer said he withdrew from the case in January.
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