It’s meant to be a time of rest and relaxation, but for many city slickers heading back to their rural family homes in the festive season it’s a call of duty that comes with stress, hard work and sacrificing the comforts of urban living.
Johannesburg mother of three Ncumisa Notununu, 45, an engineer by profession, isn’t looking forward to going to her in-laws in the Eastern Cape this year.
She finds spending time with the extended family not an altogether relaxing experience.
But an unwritten rule compels Notununu and her family to head to the village of Qumbu each year. She, her husband Themba, an IT manager, their 15-year-old twin daughters and eight-year-old son are leaving this weekend to spend at least 10 days there.
Going to Qumbu isn’t a choice but a cultural tradition they are expected to uphold.
“Every December we have to go for a minimum of seven days... it’s an unspoken rule, something I just have to do,” said Notununu, who hails from Mthatha, an hour away from Qumbu.
First, she has to ensure her Sandton-born children have everything they need to feel comfortable in a rural setting.
’Tis the season to groan about going ‘home’
“I need to think about how much I am going to spend; from petrol, tolls, buying groceries... And even getting my children gumboots because it rains during the festive season and gets muddy there.”
Christmas in Qumbu is about traditional family events and already there are five lined up between Monday and Saturday, including three weddings. There is also a funeral, a traditional housewarming and a welcome ceremony for a young man who underwent the Xhosa passage to manhood.
“I need to do shopping for those because there’s regalia [one needs to get] — you don’t just wear your dress that you wear at work here in Joburg.”
Notununu said more events may spring up while she’s in Qumbu — as happened in past festive seasons.
“There could be events the whole week... you wouldn’t really know all the events. And the work you get to do is too much.”
As a makoti (daughter-in-law), Notununu is expected to help peel vegetables and prepare food for various occasions.
“To be honest, I am not looking forward to it.”
She’s not the only one from her household who feels that way. Her teen twins, who aren’t fluent in Xhosa, are not excited about their holiday.
“My children aren’t looking forward to it. They attend private schools and can’t really speak isiXhosa,” Notununu said.
She has bought loads of snacks to help her children feel comfortable in Qumbu, where they complain about poor cellphone network and having to use pit toilets.
“They stand out in the village, so they avoid going to the functions and prefer sitting in the room and being on their phones, trying to avoid the language barrier.”
Notununu has bought food they regularly eat at home that is not easily available in Qumbu, such as macaroni and cheese and their favourite chocolates.
It promises to be a long week for her children, who struggle to live without fibre internet, Netflix and running water.
Also battling with a picky teen is Kgabo Ramakgoshi, 42, from Thembisa on the East Rand.
He, his wife and four children go to their home village of Moletjie near Polokwane in Limpopo every year.
“During the year we don’t get to see our families much so this is the period to spend time with them,” said Ramokgoshi.
However, his 15-year-old son is reluctant to go to Limpopo for the holidays.
“His main problem is that most of his friends are here in Gauteng, and he’s worried that he’s going to miss out on parties they will have while he’s in Limpopo.”
When his son was younger, he had been “eager” to go to Moletjie, but was now losing interest.
His wife, who is from Gauteng, has adopted the practice of spending a week with his family during Christmas.
But there were adjustments she had to make, including changing her wardrobe.
“There’s stuff that she can wear when she’s here with me, stuff like shorts which she can’t wear around her in-laws, and she knows that.”
Ramokgoshi said he was happy to go back home for the festive season and wouldn’t like to be mocked with a popular Limpopo adage for those who no longer visit home: “o jelwe ke Gauteng” (Gauteng swallowed him).
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