The cabinet sworn in by chief justice Mogoeng Mogoeng this week seems to be the product of deals, trade-offs and compromises struck in secret, which in the end leaves it resembling scrambled eggs. It is neither fish nor fowl.
Mercifully, we were spared the prayers. A week earlier in parliament the chief justice went down on his knees to pray before swearing in the MPs. He was out of order. At the inauguration, he gave President Cyril Ramaphosa a copy of the Bible. Why not the Qur'an or the Torah or ...?
Mogoeng is our chief justice, not SA's self-proclaimed uber bishop, and his responsibilities are enunciated in the constitution. Nowhere does it include prayer. He should therefore stop the freelancing. SA is a secular state, not a theocracy. Religious affiliation is a private matter.
When Ramaphosa took over from Jacob Zuma, it was understandable that he would keep most of his predecessor's appointees in his cabinet. We were informed he was merely completing Zuma's term and therefore could not completely clean out the Augean stables, as it were.
Just as judges speak through their judgments, so too do presidents or prime ministers tend to reveal their soul, their values or their intent through the courtiers and counsellors they choose to carry out their assignments. But Ramaphosa's cabinet leaves us none the wiser.
The main purpose of his presidency, he's told us repeatedly, is to grow the economy and to eradicate corruption. There's no reason to doubt his sincerity. But he's presented us with a collection of individuals whose characters and records loudly send out a contradictory message. They are the embodiment of the scourge that Ramaphosa seeks to eliminate.
But maybe it's the nature of the beast that is the ANC. There are few apples that aren't rotten to choose from. And everything has to be negotiated, not only among the party's different factions but with the tripartite alliance as well.
The communists and the unionists lined up in front of the cameras to express their happiness at the fact that the president took them into his confidence before the cabinet announcement. These people were not on the ballot, and yet they not only demand to be seated at the top table, they want a slice of the cake as well. Funny democracy, as Zuma would say.
Ramaphosa got some things right. He did well to ignore the baying mob that seems oddly obsessed with getting at Pravin Gordhan - one of the few competent ministers. Only those who are corrupt and their friends would wish to see him out of the government.
Ramaphosa was right to not even acknowledge this manufactured rage. To have overlooked Gordhan because of so spurious a charge would have brought into question Ramaphosa's own resolve as a leader. Gordhan is key to reversing the ravages of state capture.
The less said about the public protector's finding on Gordhan the better. It's not worth the paper it's written on. Busisiwe Mkhwebane has become an embarrassment to the office she holds. This report, like previous ones, will ultimately be thrown into the wastepaper basket on review. And that will, hopefully, be her death knell.
Ramaphosa was also on the money to stick by finance minister Tito Mboweni, who has made enemies in the labour movement by not mincing his words regarding the sums of money the government wastes on bailing out the likes of SAA and Eskom. He's right, of course, but unions don't like politicians who tell the truth.
Gordhan is key to reversing the ravages of state capture
Thoko Didiza has been handed a tough assignment, but if anybody can bring people together to resolve the intractable land question it is her. She has the temperament for it.
We were so fixated on Bathabile Dlamini that we were utterly relieved and exhausted when we discovered she had been dropped. But a few rotten apples got through while we were celebrating. Nosiviwe Mapisa-Nqakula, for instance, has yet to account for smuggling a young woman from Burundi into the country on an air force jet. The woman, who had a false passport, was apparently engaged to Mapisa-Nqakula's son. Despite the cloud, however, she's nicely ensconced as defence minister.
Our school pupils are among the worst performing when compared to those from other countries, yet Angie Motshekga, the basic education minister, has been rewarded with another five-year term. By the time Ramaphosa concludes his first term, she will have been in the position for a record 15 years. Quite an achievement.
And then there's Aaron Motsoaledi. He talks a lot but does absolutely bugger all. He's turned our hospitals and other health facilities almost into death traps. He's now been parcelled off to home affairs to do even more damage.
The unluckiest man has to be Derek Hanekom, who, during the darkest days of the Zuma years, took him on, bringing a vote of no confidence against him in the national executive committee, when everybody, including Ramaphosa, preferred to keep their heads below the parapet.
He was sacked by Zuma for his sins, and vilified and racially abused by Zuma's supporters. A more passionate cheerleader Ramaphosa could not have wished for. It's ironic that his loyalty has been rewarded with dismissal. Ramaphosa has found a place in his administration for the corrupt and conniving David Mahlobo, but not for Hanekom. Maybe something's still in the works.
Hopefully, Ramaphosa's new team will, despite its shortcomings, succeed in getting SA out of its quagmire. The proof of the pudding will be in the eating.
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