Papa knows best
Many hours later, as he was to face the firing squad, Commander Floyd Nyiko Shivambu remembered not the words of wisdom from his beloved fugitive prophet affectionately known as Papa Bushiri. Instead, he got his inspiration from a long-dead Russian who had written in 1919: “Fewer pompous phrases, more plain, everyday work ...”
But Nkandla is no country for a book-smart man who has read Vladimir Lenin. So even though Commander Floyd had posted the great revolutionary for all to see his intellectual prowess and “superior logic,” the firing squad had no mercy, remembering only Baba kaDuduzane’s command: “You shall have no other Papa but ...” And so they fired him and dumped him in the National Assembly.
* With apologies to Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Time for a constitutional
On hearing that Shivambu had been fired, a jubilant ANC secretary-general Fikile Mbalula took to social media to gloat. “Zuma usleg [Zuma is cruel]. They made Shivambu draft the constitution only to use the same constitution to remove him,” he posted on X.
But Floyd wouldn’t let him win the day. So he clapped back: “Like he [Zuma] decisively used the constitution to take the ‘mighty’ ANC TO 40% and left you begging for co-operation with the white minority.”
Mbalula is still thinking about his comeback.
Trust the tabloids
It is the age of digital, Hogarth knows, but there is still no beating a traditional newspaper headline when it comes to telling a sizzling breaking story, especially about the messy political divorce of a billionaire power couple. How is this front page from the New York Post?
Buyer's remorse
Hogarth wasn’t surprised to learn that Musk was now threatening to dish dirt on Trump while the Orange One suggests that his administration may cut the lucrative subsidies the federal government gives to Musk’s companies.
What really shocked Hogarth is the news report that the “silver cup has broken” (township speak for the relationship is totally over) so much that Trump now wants to sell the Tesla he bought with so much pride from Musk just a few weeks ago. Can these two billionaires be even more petty?
Cyril's little Trump comeback
President Cyril Ramaphosa just couldn’t resist taking a dig at Trump and Musk after the news of the break-up spread like wildfire across the world. Who could blame him after all the grief Musk once gave him on X and all the nonsense he had to put up with when Trump invited him to the Oval Office, just to show him a low-budget movie not even trash TV station Moja Love would screen?
So on Friday night, at a Black Business Council dinner, Ramaphosa spoke of how the world had regressed over the past few years, complaining about heads of democratic nations who now yearn to be military dictators and countries that have fallen victim to corruption and state capture: “Even the countries that we never thought would have state capture are now showing signs of being captured,” he said.
Busy bee John buzzes on
Speaking of the Black Business Council, Hogarth was impressed to see John Steenhuisen interacting comfortably with the delegates and other guests at the BBC-convened summit where participants often sound like the EFF in designer suits and posh accents. So relaxed was the engagement that one of the participants even greeted him as John Vul’igate. At the end of a panel discussion he was part of, the DA leader and agriculture minister demonstrated how well he has adapted to GNU business when he told the audience that he had to leave to attend another BEE meeting, only this time it was at the South African Bee Industry Organisation.
Just do it, Mr Editor
On hearing the news about advocate Charles Mnisi, who WhatsApped a judge’s office to tell him not to expect him in court on Monday as he would be too tired from running this morning’s Comrades Marathon, Hogarth could not help but remember an erstwhile editor of this prestigious publication who promised readers in a column that he would one day run the “ultimate race”.
Not to hurry you sbali, but it has been more than 15 years. And no, walking around the streets of the Banana City in a Pirates shirt doesn’t count as partaking in the race.
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