Hot seat is an electric chair
McBuffalo finally reshuffled his cabinet after months of dilly-dallying and dithering. There were no major surprises, with his infrastructure induna, Kgosientsho Ramokgopa, becoming minister of load-shedding. Ramokgopa seems strangely excited for a guy who will soon be blamed every time the lights go out. Hogarth’s moles in the Mother City witnessed a thrilled Ramokgopa exchanging banter with McBuffalo’s new No 2, Paul Mashatile, at the swearing-in ceremony at Tuynhuys on Tuesday.
“My son was telling me that he’s going to inform his friends at school that I’m the minister who will be switching off the lights, and I said, ‘Yes, also tell them I’ll switch off their homes if they give you any trouble,’” Ramokgopa quipped. After he signed his oath of office, he told a laughing Buffalo: “Now the lights can go off.”
It seems the new minister is a sucker for dark humour.
Limo door closes, Uber door opens
As expected, the axe fell on Her Royal Highness Lindiwe Sisulu, who showed McBuffalo the middle finger leading up to the Nasrec conference last December. After having been chauffeur-driven at taxpayers' expense since she was appointed deputy minister of home affairs in 1996, HRH may have to brush up on her driving skills or, even better, download the Uber app. But with the handsome pension she has accumulated since 1994 when she joined parliament, Sisulu can afford to pretend she’s still important and hire a Klippies-and-Coke old-timer to drive her about. Check your inbox, your highness.
The art & culture of deception
Also out in the cold is Nathi Mthethwa, who masqueraded as our minister of sports, arts & culture for years. To say no-one will miss Mthethwa is an understatement: everyone in the entertainment business, for starters, was over the moon at the news of his departure. His successor is one Goodenough “Zizi” Kodwa — whose name featured prominently in Raymond Zondo’s state capture report.
The same judge — who wrote in his report that Kodwa was not good enough to be a member of the executive — had to preside over Kodwa’s swearing-in ceremony on Tuesday. Kodwa took an oath to “obey, observe, uphold and maintain the constitution and all other laws of the republic”. Old Hog believes Zondo knew Kodwa was fibbing.
Can of worms multiplies
McBuffalo came under fire for keeping the deadwood in his cabinet. He increased the number of ministers from 28 to 30, saying he would cut the total after next year’s elections. IFP MP Mkhuleko Hlengwa offered an apt description of Ramapostponer’s flip-flopping: “Mr President, I respectfully put it to you that you’re not committed to your own commitments in so far as the reconfiguration of government is concerned.” Hlengwa reminded Ramaphosa of his many cabinet-trimming undertakings in at least three state of the nation addresses. “Every year, every Sona, Mr President, you kick the can down the road.”
My learned frenemy
Former public protector Thuli Madonsela finally appeared before the parliamentary inquiry probing her successor's competence. Madonsela clashed with Busisiwe Mkhwebane's legal representative, Dali Mpofu, over just about everything. She felt his questions were irrelevant and said so.
Mpofu retorted: “According to the directives, the chairperson is the final arbiter of relevance. Do you understand that?”
Madonsela tried to appeal to Mpofu’s better nature. “I do understand but you are paid for every word you utter, I am losing time for every word I utter. So, as professionals, we also have to be self-regulating about what we ask and what we discuss without waiting for the chair to tell us.”
Mpofu had the final word about his billing practices: “You are wrong, I’m not paid for every word I utter. But I forgive you because you wouldn’t know.” That’s reassuring because Old Hog feared Mpofu’s long-winded monologues could cost millions.
Pride comes before a fall
If you ever had doubts about the commitment of the ANC and its structures, the following bears out the cynicism. The ANC kindergarten, also known as the Young Lions, had planned to host an outdoor venture event at the Hennops hiking trail in Centurion yesterday. Thuthukile Zuma, the league’s fundraiser, pulled the plugged on the event at the 11th hour after the ANC cubs became aware that a lion has been on the loose in the area for at least a week. It’s a missed opportunity to find out who roars the loudest between the Young Lions and the king of the jungle.
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