Physically, he is a giant of a man. In Shaka’s time, he would have been conscripted into one of those fierce-looking regiments. But he had the luck of thriving in a nonracial democracy where his huge frame is not seen by an emperor as a human shield to stop enemy spears.
He could have used his Herculean frame to become a successful athlete, winning trophies and awards for himself and country.
But he chose to be an underachieving provincial politician whose fame comes from stealing attention from his provincial premier.
Siboniso Armstrong Duma knew the ANC wouldn’t make him KwaZulu-Natal’s premier when he won the ANC provincial chair more than a year ago, so he tactically backed the appointment of Nomusa Dube-Ncube.
But he has since done everything in his power to remind the premier at every turn that she is there at his mercy.
Last weekend, when he practically grabbed the Webb Ellis cup away from Dube-Ncube so he could hog space in a picture with Springbok Eben Etzebeth, Duma revealed himself to be a publicity-hungry political dwarf.
Just give him a red card
Duma’s behaviour was so outrageous that even the usually docile ANC Women’s League was provoked into issuing a statement of condemnation.
But instead of acknowledging his wrongdoing, Duma had his provincial secretary issue a missive slamming the league for daring to speak up against the provincial strongman. Bullyboy tendencies.
Ex-watchdog gnaws an old bone
Down in the Cape, Deputy President Paul Mashatile was in the national house of chaos for oral questions and answers with MPs.
It was a rather dull affair, until bumbling Busisiwe Mkhwebane, the impeached public protector in red overalls, put her “maiden question” to comrade Spokes.
Referring to herself in the third person, Mkhwebane railed at how the South African Revenue Service, the Reserve Bank, the acting public protector and the criminal justice system had all exonerated McBuffalo, with her being the only exception.
“The only person who was committed to deal with this was removed from the system. So, this is a challenge, it shows that there is rot from the head. Why does the justice system fail to act against the president?” she inquired.
“Honourable Mkhwebane, welcome, this is your maiden question,” responded a smiling Mashatile, unable to hide his mirth.
“Honourable Mkhwebane, the law does not have eyes. When the law is being implemented, it doesn’t look to say this one is the president, let’s treat him differently.”
Hogarth can only hope that Honourable Mkhwebane has other topics on her mind lest she runs the risk of coming across as someone obsessed about settling old scores.
How’s this for a bench press
Still on matters of the law, it was yet another long week in the Senzo Meyiwa trial.
And it seems the protracted court case will prove to be a tall order for advocate Thulani Mngomezulu, who recently joined the legal team representing some of the accused.
Just after 3pm on Monday, Mngomezulu sheepishly asked judge Ratha Mokgoatlheng for an early adjournment, citing “exhaustion”.
The strict Mokgoatlheng reluctantly allowed it, but in the way only he can.
“You know, every day before coming here, I’m at the gym at 6am until 7.30am. And I am 76. But I think this court has heard me,” the judge said.
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