Forming a government is a stressful job, and much more so if you have to strike a deal with the DA's Helen Zille. So while the entire nation was agonising over whether McBuffalo would retreat after the DA’s hardball threat and end up opening the gates for John Steenhuisen to be the country’s second-in-command, Da Prez decided to take time off for some retail therapy on Wednesday.
The Yuppiechef store posted a picture of the president posing with store staff during a visit to the outlet. It would seem that the negotiations have been so tough for the Buffalo Soldier that he decided to go buy himself a different type of a kitchen cabinet — one that wouldn't berate him if he opened the wrong door.
Pen pals no more
But if Hogarth’s newsroom colleagues are to be believed, McBuffalo and John Vul’igate have a done deal. That’s why the leaking of letters has suddenly stopped and Auntie Helen is becoming unusually nice with everybody. But what the public exchange of letters would have taught incoming minister John Steenhuisen is that in Cyril Ramaphosa he is not about to have a pushover for a boss. Super nice in the glare of the public, the McBuffalo can be acerbic when talking to wayward ministers behind the scenes.
In his leaked letter expressing displeasure at some of the DA’s demands, McBuffalo said of his soon-to-be-minister: “I also prefer not to deal further with the legally incompetent proposals to unilaterally redetermine contractual arrangements of Directors Gen and other contracts. I did inform you that I felt we should not dwell on the misguided propositions contained in that letter as paying attention to the contents of that letter would divert us from the task at hand of constituting a Government of National Unity.”
With a boss so mean, John must be wondering, who needs a Julius?
It's slow in the fast lane
Every Tom, Dingilizwe and their markets seem too preoccupied with speculation as to which posts the former opposition parties will get in the new Government of National Unity. But spare a thought for the ANC’s former ministers, most of whom are anxiously watching the negotiations from the sidelines — not knowing if it will be their posts or not that would be sacrificed in the horse-trading. Let's hope they get a chance to enjoy the blue lights and being chauffeur-driven for the last time this weekend. Soon they’ll be cursing at the slow fancy Kwid drivers on the M1 like the rest of the nation.
Mbalula's mate earns Mother's Milk
The ANC’s step-aside rule can be confusing for party outsiders. For instance, a cabinet minister is deemed no longer good enough to be in the executive if he or she is arrested and charged with corruption. His or her stay in the ANC’s National Executive Committee is also considered improper as it has the effect of putting the party into disrepute. Yet the same politician is deemed good enough to remain a MP!
That’s basically what ANC secretary-general Fikile Mbalula said when justifying his troubled friend Goodenough Zizi Kodwa’s swearing-in as an MP to do service in the Mother City despite his recent resignation from cabinet on the grounds that he had been charged with corruption.
Mbalula further justified the move on spurious grounds that, as a backbencher, Kodwa would have no significant responsibilities.
So, Mr Fearf*k*l, are you saying Zizi is on a R1.2m paid holiday in scenic Cape Town?
Debates are not for sissies
Like most South Africans, Hogarth would like to see presidential candidates holding public debates over their policy proposals ahead of a national election. But after watching the horror movie that was the Joe Biden vs Donald Trump debate the other night, Hogarth fears how things could quickly go south here.
As Hogarth watched Biden and Trump call each other names, he kept on imagining a former president, who may or may not be retired from politics, saying “uthini baba, ukhuluma nami — say that again and see what will become of you” — and giving his adversary that look that suggests that if he was any closer he’d give him a huge klap.
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