Eswatini’s King Mswati III is about to take his 16th wife. Hardly breaking news. But what’s interesting is that the 56-year-old absolute monarch’s latest wife is 21-year-old Nomcebo Zuma, daughter of fellow polygamist Jacob Zuma. It turns out that, just recently, his majesty sent a delegation to Nkandla to present the Nkandla Crooner with 10 cattle as part of the ukucela customary practice that marks the beginning of lobola negotiations. But the ex-prez wasn’t there to welcome them and, if tabloids in both the Swati and Zulu kingdoms are to be believed, he is not really chuffed by the idea of Mswati as a son-in-law. As Nomcebo frequented Eswatini, daddy dearest was of the mistaken view that the king was inviting her for the purpose of marrying her off to one of his sons. So when he found out he had been misled, Zuma apparently boycotted the ceremony.
MK spy games
But maybe Baba kaNomcebo wasn’t boycotting at all. Maybe he was simply busy playing his famous chess moves against himself at MK Party headquarters, where he seemingly spends much of his time moving leading members hither and thither like pawns in the game of kings.
Last week he dismissed the party’s secretary-general Arthur Zwane — not to be mistaken for the failed Kaizer Chiefs coach — and replaced him with Sifiso Maseko. But barely a week into the job, poor Maseko was also chucked out — only for Zwane to be reappointed to the position. Old Hog prays this does not give the bosses at Naturena any funny ideas.
Anyway, Msholozi’s constant reshuffling of his leadership pack is apparently supposed to confuse the CIA, MI5 and other spy agencies allegedly working with the ANC of Cyril Ramaphosa to keep the toiling South African masses in DA bondage, MK Party “commanders” tell Hogarth.
But Hogarth thinks Baba is better off using his intelligence skills watching Mswati III than playing an imaginary game of chess against supposed Western enemies.
Losing out by SMS
Parliament newcomer Songezo Zibi of Rise Mzansi was elected unopposed as chair of the powerful standing committee on public accounts (Scopa) this week.
This was despite indications from Build One SA’s Mmusi Maimane that he’d also stand for the position. ActionSA also expressed interest. But when the ANC’s Lusizo Makhubela nominated Zibi, with the DA’s Patrick Atkinson seconding the nomination, no other name was nominated — thereby letting the Rise Mzansi leader be elected unopposed.
MPs were congratulating Zibi when ActionSA parliamentary leader Athol Trollip walked into the venue, late. He was furious to learn that the process had been completed and blamed parliamentary staff for not communicating the correct time and venue for the meeting. It turned out he had not read an SMS announcing a change of time and venue. A red-faced Trollip moaned that SMSes were “archaic”, saying he doesn’t use them. “Parliament and other committees communicate by e-mail and WhatsApp,” he argued.
‘I second me’
Maimane did get to chair the appropriations committee though. Just before elections for the committee, its secretary announced that the FF Plus’s Wouter Wessels had withdrawn from the committee and that Maimane was now its new member. The ANC’s Nonceba Molwele then nominated Maimane, and Soviet Lekganyane (ANC) seconded the nomination, which Maimane accepted.
It appeared odd that Maimane, whose party is not a signatory to the GNU, was getting this position. Still, Hogarth did not expect DA MP Mark Burke to react by nominating himself. “We’ve never had this,” quipped the committee’s secretary. “I should be asking if you accept the nomination but you have nominated yourself!”
No-one dared to second Burke’s nomination.
Mixing it up with ‘Sleepy Joe’
Across the Atlantic, some Democrats want President Joe Biden to step down and not run against Donald Trump. They have all but lost confidence in “Sleepy Joe” as they believe he stands no chance against the streetfighter that is Trump.
Well, Biden seemed to prove his detractors right with a range of public gaffes this week.
Introducing Ukraine's President Volodymyr Zelensky at the Nato summit in Washington, Biden referred to him as the Kremlin’s Vlad.
“Now I want to hand it over to the president of Ukraine, who has as much courage as he has determination. Ladies and gentlemen, President Putin,” said Biden. He quickly corrected himself. “President Putin? He’s going to beat President Putin. President Zelensky. I’m so focused on beating Putin, we’ve gotta worry about it.”
Shaking Biden’s hand, Zelensky made light of the moment, saying: “I am better.”
Joe’s gaffe, seconded
From there it all went downhill for Biden. Taking questions from White House correspondents, including whether he had any concerns about Vice-President Kamala Harris’s ability to beat Trump, “Sleepy Joe” sponsored another fumble.
“Look, I wouldn’t have picked Vice-President Trump to be vice-president if I thought she did not qualify to be vice-president, so let’s start there. The fact is that ... the consideration is that I think I am the most qualified person to run for president.”
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