There is a video of Duduzile Zuma doing the rounds on social media. The first daughter of the Nkandla Crooner’s dynasty is seen addressing members of her father’s MK Party. At the start of her speech she mumbles something in what sounds like isiZulu before giggling with embarrassment and saying she is sorry but she can’t speak Shaka’s language.
“I am a victim of apartheid,” she tells the crowd, explaining that growing up in exile meant she could not learn her mother tongue. Hogarth can’t claim that his own Zulu is so good he can intelligibly direct this newspaper’s sports editor, a big, tall Zulu man, to Kwa Mai Mai traditional market to buy him tripe and other delicacies. So who is he to judge Duduzile for not knowing how to say “hhayi bo”?
Hogarth knows that Duduzile’s dad is not keen on the GNU and its member parties, but he suggests that the MKP leader consider sending his daughter to Howick for some sessions with Umngeni municipality mayor Chris Pappas. She’ll come back speaking isiZulu like a marshall at the Bree taxi rank in Johannesburg.
An admission of guilt?
Speaking of the Nkandla Crooner, it would seem that the man has finally found a solution to his well-documented frustration with the system of democracy. This week he told reporters his party would not hold elective conferences because they are won by those with pockets deep enough to bribe most delegates. (Hmm, very interesting. Was this a confession about Polokwane 2007 and Mangaung 2012?). So, his solution? Abandon democracy altogether.
In MKP, not only does he get to appoint and remove members of his leadership team but, as president, he can “overrule reports and outcomes” of the party’s disciplinary structures. “The President shall have the ultimate power to issue Presidential decrees on any matter pertaining to the operation, administration and policy direction of the party ... which shall be binding on all levels of the organisation,” reads the MKP constitution.
Hogarth reckons the man spends too much time with Eswatini king Mswati and now yearns to have his own fiefdom in the form of MKP.
Does Juju want a new ANC card?
Meanwhile the other dictator-wannabe, the self-proclaimed commander-in-chief of the red berets, seems to be slowly recovering from the shock of losing one of his key generals to the man who has become a wannabe-king. There was no talk of Floyd Shivambu as Juju held one of those marathon press conferences he likes so much this week. Instead, he turned his attention to what McBuffalo and his GNU partners are up to in Pretoria.
He seemed genuinely aggrieved that the GNU was taking all the credit for the fact that the country has gone for such a long period without load-shedding. He was at pains to suggest that credit should go to the previous ANC government, and not its successor.
“There was never load-shedding when the seventh administration was introduced, it was stopped before," he said. "So they must not claim the victories of the sixth administration.” If he could be so hurt that John Steenhuisen and his crew are now basking in the glory of what he used to call the “revolutionary house”, maybe Juju should call his old friend Fikile Mbalula for fresh membership forms.
A lawyer who needs a good lawyer
There is no love lost between public protector Kholeka Gcaleka and her predecessor Busi Mkhwebane. So when Gcaleka accused Mkhwebane, who is now a red beret MP, of being conflicted on matters relating to her office, Hogarth was not surprised. But he was startled by claims that Mkhwebane and her husband, MKP MP David Skosana, were so desperate to get their hands on the R10m gratuity she wants that Skosana harassed the PP office’s CEO.
Ol' Hog thinks Skosana should rather have helped his partner find a lawyer with a reasonable chance of presenting a winnable case in court on why she deserves payment.
Get-fit Gayton gravy training
Excitable sports minister Gayton McKenzie came to his position promising to be prudent in spending state funds. He even published names of individuals who received payments from the department of sports, arts & culture and terminated the sponsorship of so-called “super fans” who were being flown all over the world at taxpayers' expense.
Well, it turns out he has joined the gravy train. This week it emerged that his delegation to the Rugby World Cup spent R1.8m on their trip to Paris. More that R800,000 was spent on Gayton alone.
The GNU seems to be Gayton’s turn to eat.
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