Since everybody is sharing, and rightfully so, their fond memories of the late former Reserve Bank governor Tito Mboweni, Hogarth thought he should share a story about the Gov that may conveniently, or not, have been forgotten. One Friday morning, this newsroom was abuzz with rumours that the then finance minister was coming in to confront the bosses about a story that was to appear that Sunday. The details were sketchy but seemed to relate to a love triangle involving two cabinet ministers and a young woman.
You know, the type of tabloid story a newspaper that takes itself as seriously as the Sunday Times wouldn’t touch... It soon transpired that the minister had mixed up his newspapers and that, if he had a bone to pick, he needed to drive up Jan Smuts Avenue, and not down here to us folks slumming it near Hillbrow.
Weeks later, the young woman would tell another publication how she had met The Gov in 2017 and the two were together for two years until one afternoon, while she was waiting for him at the Sheraton in Pretoria, his colleague Gwede Mantashe approached her and allegedly said: “What type of bastard makes a beautiful woman like you wait?” She later left Mboweni for Mantashe, she claimed, because even though the country’s banknotes had come to be known as Tito Mbowenis among the young, the minister proved to be very tight-fisted, whereas the unionist-turned politician was not.
For Hogarth it was good to know that Mboweni’s Thatcherite austerity measures extended far beyond fiscal and monetary policy. He’ll be missed.
No medium to protect ‘The Lord’ from Mabuza
Samkele (with an e!) Maseko has become some sort of a celebrity political journalist. The energetic SABC reporter has become so influential that the late ANC leader Jessie Duarte nicknamed him “The Lord of The Media”. The young man, who is mostly loved for his direct approach to interviews where he never allows politicians to hide behind political speak, recently got hitched. It was a beautiful ceremony, attended by the Who’s Who of the ANC Youth League and EFF politicians, apparently.
But it would seem that in issuing the invites, Maseko forgot one of his biggest fans, former deputy president David Mabuza, who on spotting “The Lord” at the Mboweni funeral, couldn’t resist the temptation to ask, live and on national television, why he didn’t crack an invite. Us South Africans don’t hide behind politeness or decorum.
General Mazolman quivers in fear
Now that everyone with a name appears to be fleeing the Red Berets, the Red Overalls seem to be out of fashion in parliament. Seeing the gap, Not-Jimmy — the former EFF MP who is now Chief Whip of Baba kaDuduzane’s MKP — decided his caucus would arrive in the House sporting a new fashion trend: military fatigues. The entire caucus marched from their Marks Buildings offices to the House clad in camouflage military gear — as if they were gearing themselves for battle. But there were to be no fireworks in the House as President Cyril Ramaphosa fielded questions from MPs. Instead, it was one of their MPs, David “Mazolman” Skosana, who left everyone amused when he complained about speaker Thoko Didiza giving him “intimidating looks”.
Goes to show that cheap military gear may provide a camouflage of strength but makes not a brave soldier.
McKenzie hates cheap ‘downgrades’
Hogarth made a boo-boo last week, saying sport minister Gayton McKenzie and his staff had spent R1.8m or so on an international trip. But instead of saying the trip was to the Olympic Games in Paris this year, Hogarth mistakenly said the minister had gone to the Rugby World Cup which was held in the same city last year, long before McKenzie even knew that he’ll one day be called Honourable Minister. For this, Hogarth apologises to readers.
But, in explaining the costs of the trip, did the minister have to boast that a R200,000 business class ticket is nothing to him given that he is accustomed to flying first class on such trips?
“And now I must fly business class, so it’s not an upgrade for me, it’s a downgrade. Locally, I (personally) fly business class but as a minister I must fly economy class. The other day I was flying with my partner, and she said: ‘Can’t we book you (business class)’, because my knees are so long, now and again I must stand up'.”
On bended knees, Hogarth humbly asks this minister to go to the school of modesty and humility!
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