It seems a long time ago now, but remember when nothing seemed to happen in our politics without Julius Malema knowing about it first? Reporters would flock to his press conferences at Winnie Mandela House just to hear the self-styled EFF commander-in-chief dish the dirt on Luthuli House and the Union Buildings. The gossiper-in-chief (GIC), as he came to be known, reliably gave us the lowdown on what had happened behind closed doors at ANC meetings.
Well, it turns out, while the GIC’s ear may have been attuned to pick up whispers about Fikile Mbalula going up against Paul Mashatile for the post of next ANC president, it has been pretty useless at detecting Jacob Zuma’s stealing some of the top EFF leaders for his MK Party.
Three-body problem chaos
However, Hogarth believes that, while the GIC may have not known Dali Mpofu was about to take off his red overalls, exchange them for green military fatigues, and then move to Nkandla, he must have suspected the man was severely conflicted politically. Mpofu spoke on public platforms in defence of Zuma so often it became difficult to tell if he was EFF or MK Party. Even now he has left, he continues to send mixed signals, suggesting he still has a soft spot, not only for the EFF, but also for the ANC.
In his resignation letter, Mpofu said, “According to their ‘records’, I am not their member. Yet I insist I am a member of all three (the ANC, the EFF and the MK Party). I am a proud member of the ‘AMF of the nation’, which is not some imaginary amalgam of the ANC, MK and the EFF. [It is the] African Mkhonto Fighters, if you get my drift.”
If political confusion were a person ...
Political polyamory
By his own account, this polygamous approach to politics has been going on for a while. Mpofu told the SABC that, while he was an EFF member, he assisted the Nkandla Crooner in forming the MK Party. This was to be disputed later by a former MK Party leader who called a radio station to say Zuma initially hadn’t wanted Mpofu to be involved in the party. Hogarth doesn’t know who to believe, but notes that every other MK Party follower seems to believe he or she was the first to be recruited to the party.
This is perfectly in line with what happens in polygamous relationships, where every participant believes he or she is the most important member.
Serial husband Zuma is well experienced when it comes to this.
Blue-ticked and ghosted
Juju decided to respond to Mpofu’s resignation by giving an interview to EFF spokesperson Leigh-Ann Mathys. The EFF leader told her Mpofu had sent him a text inviting him to his daughter’s 21st birthday — but Juju knew something was fishy and blue-ticked him. Mpofu then sent a follow-up message requesting a meeting with the red party’s commander in-chief. “I didn’t respond,” Juju said. “Because we are so used to this now, my wife said, ‘He wants to say his goodbyes.’ I said, ‘No, I’m not good for goodbyes. I’m fine. I don’t want [to] ... let him do what he wants to do.’”
Singing for supper on a new menu
Rumour runs rife about who will join Mpofu and Floyd Shivambu at the Nkandla Party. The speculation was triggered by an X post by Juju in which he told his supporters two more EFF leaders were about to jump ship. “Only two of your favourites remain, and the list will be finalised. They sing beautifully and are always willing to pose for pictures and sign roll calls, but remember their souls are long gone.”
Who sings beautifully? With Afropop singer Ringo Madlingozi having already ditched the red berets, Hogarth can think of only a few people. It can’t be old Carl Niehaus, because he can’t sing to save his life. And it can’t be Fana Mokoena, as his speciality is acting. This leaves only one candidate — former party spokesperson Mbuyiseni Quintin Ndlozi.
