The National House of Chaos, officially known as the National Assembly, was back in session this week. MPs met on Wednesday to vote on finance minister Enoch Godongwana’s much-debated budget.
This was a critical voting session. The ANC had found new chommies in Herman Mashaba’s ActionSA after the Desperate Alliance refused to back the budget due to VAT and control of economic policy. All bums were needed on seats if the remaining GNU partners were to get the 200 or so votes required.
But Raatiqah Tagodien, a tjatjarag MP from “keep the foreigners out” Gayton McKenzie’s Patriotic Alliance, cost the GNU a crucial vote when she tried to sneak into the makeshift chamber after the doors were shut. An alert DA MP spotted Tagodien and reported her to house chair Cedric Frolick, who kicked the legislator out.
With sloppy partners like these, the ANC needs the efficient blue party back in its corner.
Green with envy over blue lights
Remember Des Van Rooyen, the weekend special and useless Gupta puppet who Jacob Zuma tried to sell to the country as a highly qualified finance minister?
Now an MK Party member, where they wear military fatigues and scream empty slogans, he tried to sound feisty during the budget debate on Wednesday, accusing GNU parties such as the IFP and the Patriotic Alliance of supporting an anti-poor budget to preserve the blue light status of their ministers. But PA leader McKenzie was having none of that and reminded Van Rooyen that he was happy to be chauffeured in a blue light convoy during his weekend stint as finance minister back in 2012.
Perking up over perks
Talking about blue lights, it seems ActionSA caucus leader Athol Trollip cannot wait to get himself some. On Thursday morning, he was asked at a press conference if his party supported the budget in return for a seat in the GNU. He responded that while ActionSA had declined an invitation to join the coalition in 2024, things have changed and so has its stance.
“If the DA leaves the GNU, or if they are kicked out, we will reconsider our position because the DA is good at opposition; then the opposition space is suddenly disproportionately full and the government space might be limited, we will re-evaluate.”
Don’t forget, Trollip was DA parliamentary leader back in the day when a GNU was not even a twinkle in anybody’s eye. Ministerial perks, anyone?
Sparkling presence of mind
On Thursday, economic cluster ministers were back inside the dome taking oral questions. When the leader of the Desperate Alliance, John Steenhuisen, took to the podium, an MP from the red onesies was quick to remind him that GNU partners were baying for his blood for that act of betrayal on Wednesday afternoon.
“Yesterday Gayton [McKenzie] advised this minister to send his resignation letter. Is he still here as minister?” asked the EFF’s Hlengiwe Mkhaliphi. But Steenhuisen was not going to take this dig lying down. “I know they [EFF] are desperate to get into the offices, but there’s no absence of presence yet, you will have to wait a bit.”
He wasn’t done yet; when red beret Omphile Maotwe complained about being “given sparkling water instead of still water”, he quipped: “I thought the sparkling water was to match the honourable member’s personality.”
Penguin suit prices set to soar
The Orange One over in the US is doing a good job of annoying the entire planet. He announced a set of tariffs that will hit all exports to the self-proclaimed land of the free. The tariffs are most punitive against poorer nations, with our tiny neighbour Lesotho whacked with 50% on the $237m worth of goods it sells Uncle Sam. Funny how just a few weeks ago, Orange had never even heard of the Mountain Kingdom.
But it wasn’t just Lesotho in his destructive radar. Trump imposed a 10% tariff on Heard and McDonald Islands — a group of barren, uninhabited volcanic islands near Antarctica which are home to penguins, seals and birds. What are those pesky penguins exporting to the US? Ice blocks?
