Having a worse bad hair day

The wrecking Orange Ball was in the Oval Office on Wednesday, signing a barrage of executive orders. One of the bizarre ones was a reversal of what The Donald described as “Biden’s war on showers”. This was to repeal regulations, formulated under his predecessor, to limit the water pressure coming out of showers, sinks, toilet flushers and dishwashers.

“You don’t get water, it’s ridiculous,” Orange barked. He then explained how low-pressure showers disrupt his hair-washing routine. “They used to have a restrictor where you could take it out, but now they weld it in. You take a shower, wash your hands; whatever you do. In my case I like to take a nice shower to take care of my beautiful hair. I have to stand in the shower for 15 minutes ‘til it gets wet. [The water] comes out drip, drip, drip ... it’s ridiculous,” he howled.

Maybe if it was your hair, you wouldn’t need that much water.

Getting the orange wires crossed

Orange’s penchant for announcing policy changes on social media always gets his officials in trouble. US trade representative Jamieson Greer had a difficult time before Congress on the day his boss decided on a 90-day pause on tariffs for everyone except China.

Asked by Democratic congressman Steven Horsford if he was aware the tariffs had been paused, Greer responded in the affirmative, but admitted he only found out a few minutes before the hearing. Horsford wanted to know why the trade representative had not included this new development in his opening remarks, to which Greer conceded he had not yet discussed the issue with Trump before Orange tweeted the pause on his Truth Social account.

“So the trade representative hasn’t spoke to the president of the United States about a global reordering of trade, but yet he announced it on a tweet? WTF! Who’s in charge?” the exasperated Horsford asked a dishevelled Greer.

More than Hairman budgeted for?

Were ActionSA boss Herman Mashaba and his troops in parliament outfoxed, dribbled and duped by the ANC on the contested VAT increase? It would seem so, for parliament is now in recess, with MPs returning to Cape Town on April 21, 10 days before the increase kicks in. This leaves the National Assembly with next to no time to process any legislation to halt the VAT increase. And vendors have already adjusted their systems and pricing to accommodate the tax hike.

Speaking on talk radio 702, Mashaba sounded like a man stuck in cloud cuckoo land. “At the end of the day, budget is passed by politicians in parliament. National Treasury takes instructions from parliament that votes for the budget. Until such time a new bill is introduced, and the ANC has the responsibility to ensure that they bring a new bill. And I know that you say parliament is on recess, but they are back on the 21st, before [May 1]. It’s not ActionSA’s problem, it’s the ANC’s problem. In the end — if they did not accept our proposal — South Africa would not be without a budget today, are you aware of that?” he said triumphantly.

All hair-raising stuff from the former hair-care mogul.

No room in Bloem for cold, hungry pupils

It seems incompetent and heartless officials are running amok at the departments of sport and basic education. How do they explain letting schoolchildren go hungry and sleep in buses on cold and rainy nights?

This is what happened to a team of pupils from Limpopo, who were in Bloemfontein to represent their province at the National Schools Sport Championships autumn games. No accommodation had been arranged for them — and when the alarm was raised, they were booked accommodation 160km away, in Kimberley. “Consequently, the team had to be withdrawn from the games,” said South African Democratic Teachers’ Union general secretary Sowell Tjebane.

Head honchos at the basic education and sport departments should bury their heads in shame.