One of Hogarth’s colleagues was on his way to an Easter weekend church service on the coast when he came across a humongous billboard on the N3.
He wondered which brand would require so much space just to sell its product. Since it had some green in it, he at first assumed it was from that insurance company that apparently sells services in the nude (otherwise why would they call themselves Naked?).
But as he came closer, the face on the billboard looked familiar. Then he remembered him — the politician whose claim to fame was to snatch a microphone from the hands of another politician in the middle of a speech on live television. Siboniso Duma, the KwaZulu-Natal MEC for transport, must have decided he couldn't wait for the cameras for another chance to make a fool of himself in public, so he just stuck a gigantic selfie — no doubt representing the size of his ego — on the side of the highway.
Hogarth can only be thankful to KZN voters for ensuring in the last election that the man did not become premier. Imagine if he had won! The billboard would probably have dwarfed former arts minister Nathi Mthethwa’s proposed 100m high, glow-in-the-dark national flag.
Shepherd's sheep Shivambu ...
While Hogarth was seeking spiritual inspiration in the only province with a name and surname, MK Party general secretary Floyd Shivambu was in Malawi fraternising with Shepherd Bushiri, the self-proclaimed prophet and fugitive from justice in South Africa.
Shivambu was so impressed by the hero’s welcome he received from Bushiri’s worshippers that he took to social media to praise the alleged fraudster and sexual offender. Portraying Bushiri as a man of the poor, Shivambu went on to quote from the scriptures: “Kindness to the poor is a loan to the Lord, and He will repay the lender.”
Bushiri must have skipped that part of the Bible. He promised scores of South African congregants who each invested about R100,000 into one of his schemes that they would have a 50% return within 30 days. They have still not been repaid — some eight years later.
... Or Lenin's lost soul
The news that Shivambu had visited a man who refuses to return to South Africa after he skipped bail and snuck out of the country resulted in such a backlash even the party he purportedly runs issued a statement to distance itself from him (We see you Dudu Zuma).
After two days of enduring relentless public criticism, he seemed to seek spiritual redemption from an unexpected quarter — the famous Russian atheist of yesteryear, Vladimir Lenin. He posted a series of the communist high priest’s pictures accompanied by various statements attributed to Lenin, including: “No amount of political freedom will satisfy the hungry masses.”
For his own sake, he needs to choose whether his religion is Leninism or Bushirism, lest he be accused of “worshipping two gods at once”.
VAT-free Cupcake
One politician who must wish he had more than one deity is finance minister Enoch Godongwana. The fedora-topped chap was so confident of having his way in increasing VAT he said in an interview that despite fierce opposition “there is actually a president in this country”. This seemed to imply that he believed Cupcake would intervene on his behalf.
But when the going got tough, the president got going and was nowhere to be seen. Hence Godongwana’s humiliating public climbdown this week. Which goes to show that when it comes to being a finance minister in a multiparty government, not even a president can save you.
Mashatile, man of mystery
Was it an assassination attempt, bullets or rocks, the work of a highly-trained sniper or stray shotgun pellets? The truth seems not to matter as everyone believes what they want to believe, based on who they think should be elected as the new ANC leader at its national conference in December 2027.
Hogarth doesn’t know what really happened. But he does find it curious that highly-trained bodyguards, who once stopped on a busy highway to rough up a group of men whose car was deemed to be obstructing the deputy president’s motorcade, somehow didn’t stop to see who was “shooting” at them but merely drove to their final destination.
Gustavo has a quack at Donald
This is Donald Duck and this is Donald Trump. (Pictures of the two opposite each other please)
The one on the left lives in Disney World and the one of the right lives part-time in the White House. They are both entertainers and clowns, so it’s difficult to tell them apart.
Columbian President Gustavo Petro seemingly can’t distinguish between the two. Realising his US visa had been revoked, meaning he couldn’t attend IMF and World Bank meetings in Washington, Petro was somewhat amused.
“I can’t go [to the US] anymore because I believe they took away my visa,” he said, chuckling. “I didn’t really need a visa, but anyway, I’ve already seen Donald Duck several times, so I’ll go see other things.”
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