Rage against the dying of the light

The sweet spot between the end of one year and the start of another is always a good time to reflect. To think and rethink, to plan and scan, to reminisce and recommit.

Like many, I found myself in this frame of mind as space and time joined hands and ushered us all into the year 2024. I considered my vision for the future: my values, who I want to be and what I hold dear.

I cast my mind back several years, to December 2019, a few months after I had joined the government as a ministerial spokesperson. My heart was burning with passion for social justice; little did I know it would turn into an inferno.

It was the end of a long day, coupled with what seemed like an unending year. I was exhausted after a day of road safety campaigns, so I began scrolling through what was then known as Twitter, in search of some comic relief.

I stumbled on a tweet with the #AneleHoyana hashtag; and as soon as I did I wished I hadn’t. I could not believe, let alone stomach, the violence I held at my fingertips. Visuals of a brutal racial assault that ended in a gruesome murder were strewn across my cellphone screen, tweet after tweet, each more macabre than the last.

My spirit was instantly vexed, my soul disheartened, and every fibre of my being was enraged to the point of physically shaking. A flood of emotion welled up inside me, I was near tears.

Looking back, I wonder what disturbed me the most. Was it the fact that in one video Anele was humiliated in front of his toddler as he held the little one reassuringly while his attacker Fritz Joubert hurled all manner of profanity? Or was it the hopeless and helpless screams of his widow, begging Joubert: “Don’t do this,” as Anele’s lifeless body lay on the floor.

Or could it have been my questioning of the perpetrator’s sanity, almost excusably, because the crime that beggared belief was committed by a white man. This I concede, spoke to my unconscious bias that needed to be called to order. It could have also been the buffoonery that ensued when a tweep tried to pull the wool over our eyes, claiming to be related to Anele, to solicit funds “to aid the family with burial”.

Whether it was one of those factors, or all of them, I can’t quite recall. But whatever it was that triggered me back then, I felt it threaten to snuff the passion for purpose that now flickered inside me. It left me with a sense of defeat. As if regardless of how many people try to do the right thing, as Anele did all those years ago, more often than not, evil will prevail.

Many of us battle to do good in any way that we can. Amid an often corrupt, unjust and uncaring society, there remains a remnant of those who try to do good. Every day, everywhere, ordinary people try in thought, word, and deed, to build a better South Africa.

By offering a smile to a stranger, extending kindness to an old neighbour, paying our niece’s school fees, refusing a bribe, contributing to community initiatives or by going the extra mile expecting nothing in return. People try. So many of us try.

But we are only human. News of the senseless killing of Anele Hoyana, the rape and murder of Uyinene Mrwetyana when she went to pick up a parcel at a post office in Cape Town a few months earlier, the unemployment stats, corruption ... can cause us to throw in the towel and look on as our country gives way to decay.

Lest we forget, it was not out of the benevolence of the apartheid government that our political freedom was attained. It was ordinary men, women and yes, even children, who made the system untenable

We are not immune to doubt, discouragement and disillusionment. It is easy, even understandable, to be rendered immobilised by torrents of heartbreaking news. It is only natural to seek to throw in the towel in grief, not only for lives cut short but for the killing of all we seek to build as a nation.

But respectfully — knowing that I do not own the memory of Anele Hoyana and therefore cannot and dare not speak on his or his family’s behalf — I wish to remember Anele and many others like him, as a sign that it is not yet uhuru. Almost three decades into our democracy, we have yet to reach our promised land. We as ordinary citizens therefore, and all who call South Africa home, cannot afford to rest on our laurels.

Lest we forget, it was not out of the benevolence of the apartheid government that our political freedom was attained. It was ordinary men, women and yes, even children, who made the system untenable and it will be men, women and children who will take South Africa to a more prosperous destiny.

The onus is on us, as the preamble of our constitution implores us: it is “We, the people of South Africa”, who should work alongside our political representatives, through the laws of this republic, to establish a “society based on democratic values, social justice and fundamental human rights [and] lay the foundations for a democratic and open society in which government is based on the will of the people and every citizen is equally protected by law”.

It is we, the people, who should work to improve “the quality of life of all citizens and free the potential of each person [and] build a united and democratic South Africa able to take its rightful place as a sovereign state in the family of nations”.

It is we, the people, who should do this and now is the time for it to be done.

Back in 2019, it was a poem that pulled me out of the abyss of hopelessness and swaddled me as I tossed and turned over our beloved country. The words: “Do not go gentle into that good night ... rage, rage against the dying of the light,” wrapped themselves around me and tucked me in that night.

This poem by Dylan Thomas, which urges the aged to live their lives to the full even in their twilight and resist the temptation to give up on life, became my refuge, my reprieve and my revival. Both a lullaby and a wake-up call, these words can also remind those who seek the betterment of South Africa that change is possible and dare I say, imminent.

The soul of our country is at stake. Those of us who seek to build must never be overwhelmed by those who seek to destroy. To borrow from the scriptures: “Let us not grow weary in doing good for in due season we will reap, if we faint not.”.

Do not go gentle into that good light, rage, rage against the dying of the light.

• Allie is a communication specialist and community development practitioner. She has an MA in public administration