It being an election year, the places of worship this Easter Weekend are teeming with politicians and followers who are moving from church to search for “blessings” in the form of votes. President Cyril Ramaphosa began his tour of the churches on Good Friday by making his way to Eagle Church in Mangaung, Free State. The president looked genuinely surprised when he arrived at a holding room at the church to find leading members of his party in the province in suits and ties, instead of their traditional party T-shirts that become their uniforms during election season. So impressed that they had all dressed up for the occasion, he praised them before suggesting that some of them were so unused to suits that their costumes seemed ill-fitting.
Hogarth now knows who caused Gwede Mantashe to go looking for a proper tailor.
Testing, one com, two com, three ...
Also out and about on the day was ANC KwaZulu-Natal chairman and provincial MEC for economic development Siboniso Duma. The hulk of a politician, whose claim to fame is that he is not shy of grabbing microphones from speakers he disagrees with, was a special guest of the Apostolic Faith Mission of South Africa somewhere in KZN. Hogarth’s sources could not confirm if the preachers at the church had to send through their sermons for pre-approval in order to avoid having their mics snatched from them for saying things the MEC didn’t like.
Fire one, fire all
Now that the list of parties and individual candidates who will be running for this year’s general election is confirmed, Hogarth thought he’d inspect it to see if there are any interesting enough to get his vote. He was not prepared for what he would learn about one of the new parties led by a seasoned politician who was forced to leave a party he used to lead. No Hogarth is not talking about uBaba ka Mkhonto weSizwe. He means the West Rand reverend who used to be frontman for the DA. After being blamed for losing the Desperate Alliance votes in 2019, Mmusi Maimane has gone on to set up a new tent, Bosa. But did you know that Bosa’s full registered name at the IEC is Build One South Africa with Mmusi Maimane? Yes, he partly named his party after himself. Well, Hogarth figures that once the fellow learned the hard way that being party leader does not mean that you can’t be unceremoniously fired, he figured no one would dare fire him from the party named after himself.
Enough names for a heart attack
Speaking of names of parties registered for this election, some names are so close to each other that non-observant voters may end up putting their Xs next to the wrong candidates. You may be looking for Hlaudi Motsoeneng’s ACM (full name African Content Movement) and end up voting for AMC (African Movement Congress) whose name isn’t too different from that of the ANC. Other voters may even mistake the African Congress for Transformation with the African Transformation Movement. Is it really easy to tell one’s Rise Mzansi from Arise South Africa?
Hogarth doesn’t know them, but he thinks AHC could be a safe bet. With a name like the African Heart Congress, its founders’ hearts must be in the right place. No?
Who will fetch the KFC?
Remember Boy Mamabolo, the ANC MP who once rocked up at the SONA in a black and white tuxedo, causing the EFF’s Mbuyiseni Ndlozi to aptly dub him “our perfect wedding” — after the popular TV wedding show?
Well, he is peeved with the ANC and has now dragged the party to court. Why? Because it has left him off the list of candidates it wants to send to parliament after the elections.
How dare they leave him out after he had turned himself into a Mr Delivery-man-look-alike (albeit in a white, and not black, coat) and an absolute joke while trying to outshine his old homeboy on the opposite side of the parliamentary benches, Julius Malema?
What do they say about the national democratic revolution devouring its own, ehm, clowns?
