Win, draw, lose. That is the story of Orlando Pirates who seem to lose the word consistency from their vocabulary at irregular intervals.
The schizophrenic nature of the Sea Robbers is such that one suspects that if various ventures were to be sanctioned at several laboratories to develop a medication to cure their ailment, the trials will come a cropper.
In a somewhat uncanny way, Pirates have made it fashionable to wear a cloth of unpredictability, akin to uncertain weather patterns: hot today, cold tomorrow and rainy the next day.
In short, you just don't know which Pirates will show up on match day.
"Worse, you still have to pray that their spirit will move them to play well," lamented long-suffering colleague and Sea Robber to the core Caiphus Kgosana while taking a swig of that substance which makes a certain cowboy minister hot under the collar.
They can go missing in action and huff and puff like they did when Lamontville Golden Arrows made them walk the plank in Clermont.
Then they just made it by the skin of their teeth as they laboured to victory against first division outfit Uthongathi.That enhanced calls in some quarters for Josef Zinnbauer to be fired.
I hold no brief for JZ. I didn't know the man from a bar of soap until Bucs unveiled him as the new boss two Decembers ago.
But I don't know of many people who will knuckle down and focus on their job when their son is on life-support machines fighting for dear life in a hospital ward after a car crash thousands of kilometres away.
Despite the offspring being in a coma, he continued to pluck away and ended in six wasted years sans silverware.
Some of the spiritual owners are at the end of their tether, calling for the head of coach.
The German has, in their view, overstayed his welcome aboard the ship.
Quick the fickle fans are to forget that in the last 10 years, the revolving door has seen umpteen coaches enter and exit.
Roger De Sa. Eric Tinkler.
Augusto Palacios. Shell Garage aka Kjell Jonevret. Muhsin Ertugral.
Vladimir Vermezovic.
Milutin Sredojevic. Rulani Mokwena.
Some of these men, like De Sa and Tinkler, steered the ship to the gates of glory only to fall at the final hurdle of the Caf Champions League and Confederation Cup respectively.
Others like Palacios and Ertugral managed, in their short stays, to suffer Australian Open and French Open scoreline losses - 6-0 for the former and 6-1 for the latter. Only Vermezovic delivered a trophy, the Nedbank Cup in 2014.
Bipolar Bucs managed to ameliorate the six wasted years of winning nothing by scooping the MTN8 trophy when they beat Bloemfontein Celtic 1-0 through a Thembinkosi Lorch solitary strike at the Moses Mabhida Stadium in
December.
Their favourite fixture in this term has been a clash against Kaizer Chiefs, whom they have chomped three times - over two legs in the aforementioned competition and once in the league campaign.
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Much of the chopping and changing have been the result of rotten luck with injuries.
Both Zakhele Lepasa and Tshegofatso Mabasa have been sidelined by crucial knocks. Their top talisman from last season, Gabadinho Mhango, has also spent more time in the doctor's room than on the pitch.
Their impotence in front of goal saw them pocketing a paltry five points from a possible 15, a return that wreaked havoc with their hopes of challenging for the championship.
Making consistency a constant companion of their play will go a long way to taking them closer to a place of plenty. Read trophies.
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