Those whom the gods wish to destroy, they first make mad.
Look no further than Bruno Fernandes to find a man seemingly under the spell of a divine anger wildly spiralling out of control.
The Manchester United skipper is under fire for two send-offs in quick succession, first in the 3-0 pasting by Tottenham Hotspur in the English Premier League last Sunday, followed by another on Thursday away to Porto in the Uefa Europa League.
The dismissals cast the Portugal international as the epitome of ill-displine. He has a way of seeing red and has a hurricane of a temper. He needs no invitation to throw his toys out the cot at the slightest provocation, be it derision at a referee’s decision or disapproving when a teammate misplaces a pass.
It’s poor form for a captain to collect red cards as if they are going out of fashion. Thankfully for him, the red card against Spurs was rescinded. You would have thought Fernandes would repent. Instead, he auditioned for a flying kick that would have won him the starring role in the next edition of Karate Kid with Eric Cantona as his Mr Miyagi.
United are a sorry sight. Signs of them clawing their way back to supremacy are invisible. What is crystal clear is that father time is fast running out for Erik ten Hag. The club drowns in a cesspool of disarray with each passing season on his watch. The Dutchman is living on borrowed time, while his countryman is making merry down Merseyside way.
Not one to stonewall post-match interrogation on whether he was still suitable for the job, Ten Hag is convinced his United are the best team after Manchester City. Perhaps he was a sit-down comedian in his past life or is that the reincarnated version of him? He is digging in his heels and will not depart without a fight.
In his reign, Old Trafford shed its image as a famed fearsome fortress. Nowadays, it has become a theatre where any opponent can, with gay abandon, turn dreams into nightmares, much to the misery of those who religiously descend on the cathedral.
Teams that used to dread making the trip now arrive confident of claiming the scalp of the Red Devils.
“Makafokofe” [Ten Hag must f**k-off], a gatvol friend who is a Man U fanatic screamed on Facebook following the Spurs roasting. He is a season ticket holder, who lives in Salsbury, a stone’ throw from Old Trafford. There’s no respite on the horizon for my friend, who will be mired in more misery since United rewarded “Makahambe” [let him go] with a contract extension before the start of the current season.
While Fernandez ruined his homecoming with his red mist on Thursday night, United were spared their blushes by none other than Harry Maguire, who handed them a get out of jail card with his last gasp header to snatch a draw from the jaws of defeat.
Instead of putting them to the sword, Porto let them off the hook. Porto had them by the scruff of the neck for much of the match but bizarrely chose profligacy in front of goal as numerous chances went to waste. Makahambe lived to see another day. But the drums of discontent are far from deafening.
Unai Emery’s Aston Villa, who United visit at Villa Park this afternoon, would have observed with delight how Porto sliced through their visitors’ midfield with more ease than a hot knife down a block of butter. It mirrored the manner the Biblical Moses parted the Red Sea with his magic stick.
Another horror show from Ten Hag and the gang may lead to him going the same way as David Moyes, Ryan Giggs [caretaker], Louis van Gaal, Jose Mourinho, Ole Gunner Solskjaer, Michael Carrick [caretaker] and Ralf Rangnick [interim] before him.
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