Famous for futility
If all Lungile Phenyane wanted was her two minutes of fame, she surely got it. The formerly unknown DA member hogged the headlines when it emerged that she was vying for all the top DA leadership positions ahead of the party’s federal congress next month. Hogarth hears that she has since withdrawn from the race to be federal leader and has also decided not to contest Dion George for federal finance chair. But she still insists on taking on Helen Zille for federal chair and will also avail herself to be elected chair of the federal council, deputy chair of the federal council and deputy federal chair. Since Phenyane is unlikely to win anything, Hogarth proposes that the federal congress establish a new post in honour of Phenyane's tenacity: chair of chairs.
Prepare Estcourt’s presidential cell
News from abroad is that the International Criminal Court has issued a warrant of arrest for one Vladimir Putin, who may or may not be a good friend to a few South Africans in high places. One thing he certainly is, is a bully. Now his invasion of Ukraine has got him in real trouble and he can’t travel the world without the risk of being arrested, especially in ICC member countries. South Africa is a member and also belongs to Brics along with Brazil, Russia, India and China. South Africa takes over the Brics leadership this year and might host a summit to celebrate ... if so, Putin may want to attend, if only to see his old friends — a former president who hides in the Nkandla forest and a former deputy president who may or may not be a JoJo tank inspector. If Vlad the Invader decides to come, President Cyril Ramaphosa would have an Omar al-Bashir situation. Since the courts ruled during the Bashir brouhaha in 2015 that South Africa is duty-bound to arrest anyone on its soil who is wanted by the ICC, and since we do not want Russia to turn our beautiful land into another Ukraine, Hogarth suggests McBuffalo immediately sends a polite apology to the other Brics members informing them that due to load-shedding we are unable to host international events this year.
DA loses numbers game
Little-known ATM councillor Mncedi Ndzwanana is the new speaker for Tshwane, thanks to a blunder by the Desperate Alliance. Some DA smarty-pants decided that to avoid another scenario where some of their members voted with the ANC/EFF coalition, their councillors would write an assigned number next to their candidate, ActionSA’s Kholofelo Morudi, on the ballot instead of an X. The Independent Electoral Commission correctly ruled that the 67 DA votes were spoilt and therefore didn’t count. Had the DA councillors voted correctly for Morudi he would have won with 106 crosses to Ndzwanana’s 105. DA party leaders were quick to accuse the IEC of colluding with the ANC/EFF instead of bowing their heads in shame for their buffoonery.
If she wants a poisoned chalice …
Bumbling Busi Mkhwebane and her lawyer Dali Mpofu are a match made in heaven. The two tried hard to prove to the parliamentary inquiry probing her fitness for office that she was a victim of mystery forces. Mkhwebane threw shade at former Eskom CEO André de Ruyter, telling MPs she had not failed in her duties, unlike those who brought us darkness. “I've never brought the country to eight hours of load-shedding that has affected businesses and is affecting the livelihoods of people ... But I'm sitting here and being treated like this maybe because I'm not the right colour,” said Mkhwebane. Mpofu said: “Well, if they don't want you in public protector, we will take you to Eskom?” “Yeah, I can make a big difference there,” replied Mkhwebane. Yes, Hogarth says, she’d literally shoot the lights out at Eskom.
Consider yourself disengaged
There was a time when Hogarth’s colleagues in the newsroom referred to Derek Hanekom as being in the president’s inner circle, a member of his kitchen cabinet as it were. No more, it would seem. The Prez and his ANC entourage were scheduled to have “an engagement” with civil society in the Johannesburg CBD yesterday. This “sectoral engagement,” said the ANC in a social media statement, “will cement the ANC’s collaborative and multisectoral approach to resolving socioeconomic and political challenges...”
Responded Hanekom in an anguished tweet: “But civil society organisations that I know, including the Ahmed Foundation (which I chair), know absolutely nothing about this.”
Well perhaps it is time Hanekom found new friends.
Get one of those Kiviet ‘degrees’
ANC MPs vociferously rejected a proposal by DA leader John Steenhuisen to establish a special committee to investigate the rot at Eskom. Outlining reasons the committee was not necessary, ANC MP Mikateko Mahlaule accused Steenhuisen of undermining the portfolio committees that deal with Eskom. “Perhaps it is time that Hon Steenhuisen receives an NSFAS bursary to undergo tertiary education to elevate the level of understanding so that he can make a meaningful contribution to South Africa’s economic development.”
LISTEN | DA member Lungile Phenyane speaks with TimesLIVE
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